You're a Better Man than I Am, Gunga Din

Christopher Hitchens aspires to become our Rudyard Kipling, had Kipling not, like, totally pussied out after World War I. Soon he shall turn from essayism to verse:

If any question why we died,
Tell them it was because their fathers lied we continued to stand for federal democracy, while making Iraq a killing-field for jihadists and fascists.

What his prosody lacks in elegance, it makes up for in bombastic disregard for proportionality, moral decency, and reason.

All Hitch needs now is a Cary Grant for his Douglas Fairbanks. I'm sure they can find some Kurd to die heroically in the role of water-carrier. The Thuggees would be Baathists, Saddamists, and dead-enders.