If it were David Koresh, now . . .

Despite the dessicated corpse of the One True Church's current moral standing, our official media treat the news out of Rome as if it is indeed but one spokesman removed from Gabriel. So today the Times rather breathlessly reports that Pope Hitler-Jugend I might-just-possibly-maybe-but-not-necessarily be considering some piecemeal reversal of Catholic lunacy doctrine on condoms. The church's biggest growth is now in Africa. Africans are beset by the specter of AIDS. Etc., etc., etc. The theology, we're told, is complicated.

Imagine that you had some David Koresh-type figure operating in the intermountain boondocks. Imagine that his cult was in the midst of a relatively rapid expansion. Imagine that it was awash with sexual infidelities and indiscretions. Imagine that 50% of the adult population of his compound was infected with HIV. Imagine that High Priest Joe McWorshipme refused them condoms because his "complex" theology indicated that the invisible sun god wouldn't countenance the spilling of seed.

Janet Reno and a SWAT army would descend on that fucker faster than you can say John Ashcroft. We'd set the place on fire and send tanks through the walls. The FBI would surround the place with snipers and pick off the adult males.

I'm just sayin . . .