The long-awaited trial of José Padilla, against whom accusations have been reduced from We'-re All Gonna Die to some sort of lame conspiracy charge in which the government will seek to prove that J.P., like, totally would've done it, dood, but you know, like, he promised his mom that he'd babysit his sister that weekend and it, like, totally wasn't fair. Laff-line:
To prove conspiracy, prosecutors will have to show that each of the three was involved in at least one act to provide material support to extremist groups. In Padilla's case, a key piece of evidence is an application to attend an al-Qaida training camp in Afghanistan that prosecutors say he completed in July 2000.If I were Padilla, I'd just be like, Yo, that training camp was just my safety school. I was totally going for early admit at Stanford.
Where, I have it on good authority, Mr. Padilla intended to join the Totally Heterosexual™ Fleet Street Singers.