Kinsey 1-5

"Republicans think the governing class in Washington are a bunch of buffoons who have total disregard for the principles of the party, the law of the land and the future of the country.”

-Scott Reed, Republican Strategist

How about that? Because it's so manifestly true of both parties, I'm still occasionally suprised when some beltway robot notes with "exasperation" that this or that scandal has led wayward America into believing it. Slice it with a razor. Turns out that the governing class in Washington are a bunch of buffoons who have total disregard for principle, law, and the future of the country. You read it here last, boys and girls.

The more pertinent question, I think, is just how it happened that the Grand Old Party came to resemble a house party on fire island, but without tans or abs. I haven't seen so many badly-dressed and out-of-shape middle-aged homos in one place since Elton John and Billy Joel last played together at the old Three Rivers Stadium. What sort of wincingly pathetic closet case gets pinched in a restroom, pleads guilty to a misdemeanor, and then comes out swinging with the old "I am not gay. I have never been gay." Well smell you, miss thing. It is true that they all seem to be married. Someone light a scented candle and turn the lights down low. Can't you just hear Dennis Hastert whispering, "It's not the gender. It's the person." Whoever thought that the Party of Lincoln would turn out to be the Party of Bisexuality. Paging Joshua Speed. Your table is waiting.