I have opponents in this race who do not want to change the Constitution. But I believe it's a lot easier to change the Constitution than it would be to change the word of the living god. And that's what we need to do -- to amend the Constitution so it's in God's standards rather than try to change God's standards so it lines up with some contemporary view.Now, first of all, the idea that the Constitution represents "some contemporary view" is pretty goddamn funny--you'll pardon the expression--given the date on the document. I know it's been amended an shit, but day-amn, that shit is fucked up.
-The Huck!
En tout cas, as they say in atheistic communistic Europe, what the hell does it mean to "amend the Constitution so it's in God's standards"? Are we seriously going to adopt the 613 commandments as itemized amendments to, or are we just getting rid of the establishment clause? Will we crack down on Catholic idolatry or violations of kashrut? On which days or evenings will we legally enforce the Sabbath? Shall I really suffer the penalty of death for telling Dad he's a jackass for thinking that the Steeler's running game is better served without Willy Parker, even if I agree that Parker is overrated?
Fortunately, neither Huckster nor his congregants has the slightest idea what they're talking about. The bible, to them, is a series of soft-focus tableaux vivants interspersed with an occasional bout of bloodletting to ease the boredom. I can't imagine a rebirth of stocks and stoning under a Huck administration, should such a horror ever come to pass. I'm pretty sure that the only thing he's actually talking about here is an amendment to ban gay marriage. An oldie, as they say, but a goodie.
15 comments:
I just changed the word of the living god. Did anybody notice? It was rather subtle. Fuck, that was easy.
HA! It was a good run, but I think "amend the Constitution so it's in God's standards" is the sound of the water bucket on his campfire.
i think he means to replace it with sharia law.
where does god live?
everywhere or else in the sky
Oh no! There's a hole in the godosphere over Antarctica. Huckabee, put away that freon!
Didn't I read somewhere that the unchanging word of God was in fact changed by one of the more corrupt Popes during the late middle ages because the Medici family didn't like the wording "Thall shall not suffer a poisoner to live." Hence, the "Thou shall not suffer a witch to live" so beloved by our Founders. :)
i'd laugh if god suffocated on greenhouse gasses all up in his sky.
The living god, as opposed to all that fossilized stuff written about that Jewish guy (or those old guidelines for runnin' the country), is that grinning elf on your shoulder telling you that what you support is divine, and authorizing you to persecute what he doesn't like, which, surprisingly enough, are the same things you don't. Typically the living god only talks to you, so it's important to codify what he tells you, especially if it doesn't quite match up with what he used to say to other people.
I initially read "I can't imagine a rebirth of stocks and stoning under a Huck administration..." as "stocks and boning," and now I'm going to have a silly-ass grin on my face all day.
One a more serious note, someone once said that a sure sign that you've created God in your own image is if he hates all the same people you do.
Considering the President has no say on what happens to the Constitution this is so much hot air.
that was Merton, I believe.
The point IOZ suggests in his post is a good one, and it makes all this jeebus and godtalk seem even more empty - whose standards are we talking about? Jewish? Catholic? Protestant? Or, the Kumbaya Vatican II Catholics, or the we hate abortion/love execution Catholics? The Death of God Paul Tillich Protestants or the snake handlers? Once you open this can of worms, it gets a little messy, which is why those "contemporary" guys more than 200 years ago decided to leave well enough alone.
Hey, I did this joke first!
Michael Moore's letter to Dr. Laura
I'd vote for Huckabee, so long as Ilsa Strix was at the top of the ticket.
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