My skepticism--too weak a word, to be sure--regarding electoral politics notwithstanding, I do find myself wondering just how it could be that from an initial field of twelve score and ninety-thousand candidates, the Grand Old Party found itself stuck with this guy. Not to be crass, but John McCain is so old that creationists are actually forced to deny he exists. Meanwhile, if you watch this entire speech, you will see a man who, by grin alone, makes a credible case for being cast as Heath Ledger's replacement in the next Batman installment.
If you're Mitt Romney--and seriously, Mitt, if you're reading this, great hair--you must be staring at your television every night wondering just what sort of bullshit the Lords of Kobol were pulling during primary season. To lose out to a crotchety, chicken-neck of a man has got to be some kind of letdown. Meanwhile, Rudy, baby, what's your excuse?