You'll notice Barack Obama is now wearing a flag pin.No I won't. Displays of crass patriotism are our national stock and trade, so whose bling says what about which nationalism is irrelevant at best. There's plenty of bad news about Barry, whether you're a progressive dreaming of gay marriage in Darfur or a Krauthammer dreaming of animals that can be bred and slaughtered. I popped into the Burlington Coat Factory in downtown Pittsburgh earlier in the week to buy some socks, and they had a special on American flag underwear. If I could've found a pair with a coiled snake and a Don't Tread on Me blazon across the ass, I'd've bought them for my next trip to the bathhouse. The waning days of the Roman Republic at least produced their various and sundry Ciceros; we got Jesse Helms instead. On the positive side, we blew our wad on ugly suburbs and billion-dollar planes that can't fly in a drizzle. Our rise was swifter, and our decline will be as well. We shall leave spectacular ruins, although, unlike the Romans', our roads won't even survive one generation after the sack of Washington.
-Charles Merkwerkdigliebein the Post
Happy Fourth.
23 comments:
Monsieur, just a point of curiosity: was that a typo, or is "don't treat on me" some esoteric-but-hilarious bit of bathhouse humor?
Alas, no. A typo that's now corrected.
Thank you, sir. And, by the way, if I could get a pair-o-drawers with the Gadsden flag on the seat, I'd be grabbing them up, too. Although they'd be better off with an alternative motto: "Don't skidmark on me."
Thanks for this post today. The idea of the sack of Washington has given me some refreshing delight.
I always wondered if anyone would get the irony of wearing an American flag armband a la the old Third Reich accoutrement?
FLP, we're Muricans!Not French,and we don't do irony.
I'm rooting for RICO investigations and convictions for the majority of this administration. However, I also am a Mariners fan, so...
Most Muricans wouldn't get the whole Don't Tread on Me thing anymore. The average bozo would figure that it was some sort of ecology statement, don't fuck with the snakes! Rattlesnakes have a right to exist. Or, if they are a leftist bozo, that the wearer of the symbol was a cryptofacist-meat eating-Republican bastard.
You know, the Declaration was largely a statement of "Leave us the fuck alone!" I'm pretty much down with that. I agree that the monuments will look good covered in kudzu and knocked on their sides. I remember Speer talked in his memoirs about their planning for Neuvo Berlin largely being based on how the ruins would look. That whole Gotterdamerung thing.
But, damnit, we're Muricans and we don't do Twilights of the Gods. It's either morning, or goddamn 4AM when you can't sleep and the noises of the night sound like nails across your conscience.
"You know, the Declaration was largely a statement of 'Leave us the fuck alone!'"
it was also a statement of "don't you dare make our slaves illegal," which the british were well on their way to doing.
A visit to Ioz is good for eliminating any nationalist dregs in my soul. Triple atheism ahoy, sad to say. (No God, No Country, and certainly no Pro Sports!)
Hey, Mr. Wetzel: off topic and good blog. You're in my hometown! 1982 Snider High School!
Thanks, Brian. I didn't get here until '86, though. That's probably why we didn't meet.
Off topic, but how is it possible that the NY Times could publish a guide to 36 hours in Pittsburgh with nary a mention of IOZ?
"our roads won't even survive one generation after the sack of Washington." True, but herein we leave graffiti on the walls of Empire----ghost insults to another failed state.
"our roads won't even survive one generation after the sack of Washington." True, but herein we leave graffiti on the walls of Empire----ghost insults to another failed state.
I thought AXE would have caught the irony - if that's what it is - of our IOZ going to purchase socks (picture that scene: is there anything more Real American than a man going into a store to buy his own socks?) and encountering flag-besmirched undies.
How far we've come since those halcyon days of the 60's when the dirty fucking hippies were all but burned on the steps of Capital Hill for wearing stitched-on real flags (not the silkscreened kind done for slave wages in Sri Lanka) on their denim jackets and - imagine the horror! - their denim pants.
My day ended comforting the terrified doggies while the rockets red glare boomed overhead.
Can't wait until it's the sound of the downtrodden blowing up the parapets.
Mike
Socks irony?
As IOZ' favorite Protestant Theologian and scrabble player Marin Luther once said, "though you sit on the world's highest throne, you remain seated on your own ass..."
axe,
sure that wasn't montaigne?
Imagine a blog written by Montaigne. That would definitely be worth a bookmark or two...
You're right and I should have checked it. I really thought it was Luther. Montaigne in fact said it, but Luther was very ass oriented, and should have said it.He did say this, which I kind of like, actually --"Our Lord commonly giveth Riches to such gross asses, to whom he affordeth nothing else that is good."
Luther probably sufferd from chronic constipation that was relieved, according to his sermons, when he realized the importance of Paul's Epistle to the Romans, the idea that a man is justified by faith alone while he was sitting in the monastery tower...latrine. Supposedly, everything opened up...so to speak.
I was going through some Luther quotes, and found this one -- "Reason is a whore, the enemy of faith." "But the Jews are so hardened that they listen to nothing; though overcome by testimonies they yield not an inch. It is a pernicious race, oppressing all men by their usury and rapine. If they give a prince or magistrate a thousand florins, they extort twenty thousand from the subjects in payment. We must ever keep on guard against them."
And, this one..."No one need think that the world can be ruled without blood. The civil sword shall and must be red and bloody."
“He voted against funding the hiring of 100,000 more teachers,” Obama said, noting that McCain also voted against increasing funding for a laundry list of NEA backed initiatives. “He even applauded the idea of abolishing the Department of Education.”
Oh no! Not the Department of Education! Mon Dieu!
"There is a learning curve and growth being a presidential candidate. I think I'm a much better candidate now than I was six months ago or 12 months ago. I think I'll be a better communicator and even more effective six months from now."
Can't wait.
The Vandals are coming? Aren't they a football team from Idaho?
will there be pie?
woah, axe... am i smarter than yaw?
Montaigne was a blogger. Ainsi, lecteur, je suis moi-même la matière de mon livre. Blawg!
Most are smarter than I.
Do you really think somebody will be interested enough to "sack" Washington? I envision the federal state simply withering away as the Amercian economy on the whole implodes and the ecocatastrophes start building.
Heck, we are on our thrid or fourth heat wave of the summer-and it's only early July. Not too much Washington can do about that-or when the Big One hits.
Post a Comment