Nibelung

So John McCain is evidently telling America that he's going to balance the books by winning in Iraq and Afghanistan. He's gonna kick ass, and once it's been kicked all up and down the Silk Road, he's going to--get this!--take the money saved by no longer fighting these wars, or something, and use it to balance the budget and also fund a ginormous tax cut. Now this is not unlike my plan to cut up my VISA and then use my outstanding balance and interest obligations to buy a new TV, i.e., it makes no fucking sense, it's impossible, etc. War isn't a goddamn revenue stream, it's an expenditure, and we're spending borrowed goddamn money. If McCain hadn't thrown over his poor first wife to marry that waxworks pharmacopeia for her mad money, then he'd be one more American who's got a line of home equity piled on top of an ARM in order to pay down his credit cards. Hell, the wars aren't even paid for out of the ordinary budget. They're funded by supplemental appropropriations. Even assuming that Siegfried does get us the fuck out of "The Middle East"--a likely story, as a sibilant friend of mine used to listhp--there's no change in cash flow. There's still going to be more going out than going in. The budget is at a deficit even without the war supplementals. What sort of math have they got out there in Arizona? It always seemed normal to me. I've been in Phoenix on layover, and addition and subtraction appeared to be largely, even entirely, unchanged from anywhere else in the country, world, or universe at large.

Or, as one of my favorite slacker colleagues likes to say when the issue of doing work, you lazy fucker is raised: "Whatever, man. We're all, like, gonna die anyway. What's the point?" I hereby resolve that if John McCain wins the Presidency, I am going to spend twice as much time masturbating in the men's room on three. What do we want? Revolution! When do we want it? Eh, whenever's good for you. Just send me a text, man, when you're, like, leaving the party, and maybe I'll come meet you, but I might fall asleep first.