Sunday, August 31, 2008

Apocalypse Cow

Living in the future is like totally awesome. One guy running for president is a secretly Muslim mulatto terrorist subversive, the kind of dude who's supposed to be living outside the city walls in the radioactive wasteland that was once the earth. His running mate is a loquacious droid assembled in the basement of a secret Visa/Mastercard facility. His opponent is an insane former soldier who can't conceal his cruel rictus whenever the topic of Death comes up. His opponent's running mate is one of Captain Kirk's girlfriends. I swear to Jesus that the Mayans were right about this whole 2012 thing. I might have become a Christian if someone had told me the End Times were going to be this fucking hilarious.

Posted by IOZ at 11:31 AM | email »
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17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Quetzlcoatl must be getting anxious. After all, he's hungry now, and the world keeps looking more and more delicious. Why does 2012 have to be sooo far away...

1:43 PM
Anonymous said...

Rictus?

1:44 PM
Crusader AXE of the Lost Causes said...

I'm not sure Christianity has much to do with it, except as an irrelevant commentary unrelated to the scene unfolding. Our on-going debacle is starting to remind me of Woody Allen's "What's Up, Tiger Lily?" where irrelevant dialogue is transposed on a D-Movie spectacle. Allen wrote better lines than Moses or Paul, of course.

2:37 PM
bdr said...

Janice Rand! Just cross-hatch that hive of Palin's.

4:42 PM
Anonymous said...

Contrasting this post with today's post by Glenn Greenwald, one notices certain...ehrm...differences.

Sort of like the difference between the utterances of a solipsistic nitwit (you) and those of a constitutional attorney.

8:27 PM
IOZ said...

Solipsistic! It's like the GREs in here. For the record, I am an onanist. Figuratively speaking . . . sometimes.

8:43 PM
Christopher M. said...

Yeah, IOZ, why aren't you writing long, interminable posts complaining about how the politicians you plan to vote for don't give a shit about anything you care about, and how this will make voting for them slightly more irritating? Be sure to include lots of UPDATEs.

9:43 PM
incgnfcnt said...

shit i wish i was a constitutional attorney. motherfuckers would respect my utterances like whoa

5:54 AM
Anonymous said...

As IOZ himself might say, "And they call me cynical."

I like the unintentionally revealing part where Digby ponders how to get Democrats on camera looking good without seeming to be opportunistic about it.

8:57 AM
Anonymous said...

the "star trek" episode on our local teevee last night was the one where a split Kirk beams back up to the Enterprise. the "bad" Kirk goes after yeoman "Janice".
as a young dewd i found her quite hot. now, i can't take my eyes off her wig. like Jeannie's headress without all the fabric.
expecting some non-solopsistic ruminations from IOZ on the Bush pullout of the reps' convention later today. i mean, with god on their side, couldn't they have rescheduled this storm to punish those heathens when obama was speaking?


ronald

9:09 AM
The Promiscuous Reader said...

anonymous, a couple of years ago I was called "cynical" by other commenters at Roy Edroso's alicublog (and possibly by Roy himself, I'm not sure). I pointed out that this was like being called "rude" by Ann Coulter fans. I don't think they quite got it.

It's okay to be cynical about the Republicans, I guess, but not about the Democrats.

10:34 AM
Phillip Allen said...

Bad IOZ! "the Mayan's were right"?

I assume you are simply too tired from your patriotic exertions to have noticed your Grammatical Violation. Naughty apostrophe. Bad IOZ.

10:51 AM
Christopher said...

Actually, the whole thing about the world ending in 2012 seems to have been entirely concocted by New Agers.

A certain cycle of the Mayan long count calendar ends on Dec. 21st, 2012, but that cycle was in turn embedded in larger cycles, and Mayan inscriptions make predictions about things that will happen after this cycle ends, so clearly the world will still be here.

Not that it matters, it just kind of bugs me when New Agers put words in other peoples mouths.

The Aztecs were more pessimistic; they scheduled a potential apocalypse every 52 years. I don't remember when the next 52 years is up, but since the primary means of staving off destruction was to wage war and thus feed blood to the gods, I don't think we're in a lot of danger.

10:22 PM
The Electric Zarko said...

christopher - supposedly it is not originally the New Agers; rather, it was the McKenna brothers engaging in an experiment of sorts regarding memes -- if they could tie their Death of Novelty meme to an "authentic" and "natural" supposed Mayan myth, how far and fast would it spread?

10:36 PM
Christopher said...

the electric zarko: Really? Where can I find out more about that?

I used to be pretty interested in things like parapsychology, and then after that I became very interested in Aztecs and Mayans.

So, I'm pretty interested in the convergence between those two areas. Especially because the New Age interpretations of Mesoamerican myths seem to have exactly jack shit to do with actual Mesoamerican history or reality.

Speaking of memes, something that fascinates me is that Mesoamerican astrology never really caught on at all in North American circles. There are hundreds of books about Western and Hindu astrology, but less then a dozen about Mesoamerican astrology, and this is in spite of the fact that indigenous Central Americans still practice it.

So, I wonder if that says anything to the spreading of the 2012 apocalypse meme?

4:39 AM
bdr said...

I'm lame, so I've been thinking about this, but the Janice Rand episode where she's jealous of the skin-diseased Kim Darby's crush on Kirk and John Wayne has to save Darby from a pit of rattlesnakes.

11:32 AM
Anonymous said...

The Aztec creation myth is the best creation myth there is. Just wanted to throw that out there.

12:19 PM

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