Yoga

We’re strangely susceptible to bogus claims about bodily purification–organic food, yoga, promise rings. And why not have an extra beer if you can just wring it out later?

-Kerry Howley on the anatomical claims of yoga practice

Well, as a pretty serious bender, twister, and wringer myself, I can say that yoga's second principle function in my life, following the maintenance of killer abdominals, is to justify tying one on the night before, comfortable in the pseudoconviction that I can squeeze it out the next day. I once had someone tell me that nothing felt better than standing on your head after a long night's trip on pure, powder-form DXM. It's true!