Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Ceux qui m'aiment prendront le train

I blame the incoming Obama administration for my flat tire this morning. Otherwise, I shall endeavor to keep my big mouth shut while Superjesus Black Reagan accepts the mandate of heaven. What immodest hoopla. You would expect at least some nod in the direction of humility. Instead, we get DeMille. What a tragic queen you are, America.

Posted by IOZ at 10:08 AM | email »
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27 comments:

A different Matt said...

What would the equivalent of the Christmas Grinch be for politics? Cuz that's you, IOZ. Dos nothing warm your black heart? Not even Change! in your inaugural stocking?

Do you have your own theme music yet? And might it go like?:

You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel,
Mr. Grinch!
You're a bad banana,
With a greasy black peel!
You're a monster, Mr. Grinch!
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders.
You've got garlic in your soul,
Mr. Grinch!
I wouldn't touch you
With a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!
You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch!
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile,
Mr. Grinch!
Given the choice between the two of you,
I'd take the seasick crocodile!
You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch!
You're a nasty, wasty skunk!
Your heart is full of unwashed socks.
Your soul is full of gunk,
Mr. Grinch!
The three words that best describe you
Are as follows, and I quote,
"Stink, stank, stunk!"
You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch!
You're the king of sinful sots!
Your heart's a dead tomato,
Splotched with moldy, purple spots,
Mr. Grinch!
Your soul is an apalling dump-heap,
Overflowing with the most disgraceful
assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable,
Mangled-up in tangled-up knots!
You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch!
With a nauseous super naus!
You're a crooked jerky jockey,
And you drive a crooked hoss,
Mr. Grinch!
You're a three-decker sauerkraut
and toadstool sandwich,
With arsenic sauce!

11:02 AM
A slightly different Matt said...

Hope for Small Change, IOZ! Give yourself up to the Obamaborg and become one with the collective! Conform! Conform!

11:50 AM
kali yuga said...

All the dimwitted glitter whores were out Sunday night as Captain Change!!! accepted his Best Actor award. Mellencamp performed his love song to Chevy Trucks, Bono declared that Obama has replaced Bush as his favorite Amerikan politician, Joe Biden talked Springsteen into becoming the spokesperson for one of the credit card companies he will represent as vice president ("This Card is Your Card" will be the new MasterCard slogan), Tiger Woods typically and very robotically repeated the short statement that had been written up for him by the goons at Nike (some gutless apolitical blather about how much he loves the troops), and megawhore Beyonce miraculously managed to get through an insufferable version of "Amerika the Beautiful" without once breaking into a Pepsi or Direct TV commercial . . .

11:56 AM
Dunc said...

You would expect at least some nod in the direction of humility.

You would? Why? It's about the last thing I'd expect...

12:13 PM
Montag said...

well... nothing seems to have changed yet. *yawn*

ps: kali yuga, you're too hard on Beyonce. she was fantastic in the Steve Martin Pink Panther remake.

12:14 PM
Ashley said...

Heh-heh-heheh, heh-heh-heh-heh, heh... Montag said, "Hard on Beyonce.

12:20 PM
Frederick said...

Black Reagan?

12:27 PM
Anonymous said...

Gee, I wonder if we're seeing a little of that good old metastatic faith?

12:29 PM
two to the fighting eighth power said...

I hate Thomas Hobbes, but ...

"by these, and such other institutions, they obtained in order to their end, (which was the peace of the commonwealth,) that the common people in their misfortunes, laying the fault on neglect or error in their ceremonies, or on their own disobedience to the laws, were the less apt to mutiny against their governors. And being entertained with the pomp, and pastime of festivals, and public games, made in honour of the gods, needed nothing else but bread to keep them from discontent, murmuring, and commotion against the state. And therefore the Romans, that had conquered the greatest part of the then known world, made no scruple of tolerating any religion whatsoever in the city of Rome itself; unless it had something in it, that could not consist with their civil government; nor do we read, that any religion was there forbidden, but that of the Jews; who (being the peculiar kingdom of God) thought it unlawful to acknowledge subjection to any mortal king or state whatsoever. And thus you see how the religion of the Gentiles was part of their policy."

(Funny how the last part is also appropiate to that thing about Kristol)

12:29 PM
Anonymous said...

Yes yes, but come on, the way he was basically like "You fucked up, dipshit" in nearly every line of his inaugural address while Bush was sitting right there was pretty fun, was it not? Even if he is vomitting up a bunch of empty promises, he still gave a speech that was one long verbal smackdown of his predecessor, so I'll lay off him today.

1:16 PM
LA Confidential Pantload said...

For some turbo hope/change, check out the ecstacy at Firedoglake. Folks there have lost their minds.

1:24 PM
Montag said...

Ashley 12:20

LOL. in that sense, maybe i'm too hard on Beyonce. ;)

1:28 PM
Solar Hero said...

Remember, nearly half of America didn't vote (well, it was closer to a third this time, but let's see how many vote again in 2012)...add in the religious rubes and its actually a minority of Americans who are such queens.

2:13 PM
Anonymous said...

Give yourself over. Join the starry eyed and the gormless simps. Clap your hands gleefully at the pretty, pretty coronation of the new King of Pop.

America wins. Racism is a thing of the past now.

2:22 PM
The Promiscuous Reader said...

Overheard from a student in the dorm office just a few minutes ago:

"... some people don't want to give him a chance ..."

"For me, I think it's the idea of change, not the person."

2:32 PM
kali yuga said...

Mike Malloy, who at one time had a pretty good bullshit detector, has declared that The Chosen One's coronation is more significant than the Emancipation Proclamation.

2:42 PM
IOZ said...

Well, I'll give it to Malloy in purely operable terms. The coronation did actually make Obama the President, whereas the Emancipation Proclamation did not, in fact, free the slaves.

Somehow, though, I suspect that's not what the author had in mind.

2:53 PM
Anonymous said...

Come on now. It's not about race.

3:42 PM
The Promiscuous Reader said...

It's about time / It's about space / About strange people in the strangest place ...

4:39 PM
gil mann said...

Given the neverending torrent of bullshit that is the American brain-diet, I'm pretty much okay with bullshit that puts a smile on old black faces. About fucking time something did, and it's not like reality's about to hook 'em up on that count.

But then, I'm at the point where any bullshit that doesn't involve a flight suit is my kinda bullshit.

8:55 PM
Rightwingsnarkle said...

Slightly less jingoism than previous flavors.

Also, Aretha Franklin has seen better days.

9:14 PM
Anonymous said...

Also, Aretha Franklin has seen better days.

Like, who hasn't?

12:01 AM
Anonymous said...

I'm looking for at least one native son who was not aware that a coronation was taking place yesterday.
The proximity to MLK Day was spooky.
Except for the two daughters beaming coming through the corridors of power, I couldn't get behind any of yesterday's festives.
Must be turning into an old curmudgeon, as opposed to the young whippersnapper kind like our kindly host.

Mike

7:54 AM
BrianM said...

I am a misanthrope, so I find all of these public foofaraws distasteful (Heck...I hated pep ralleys decades ago in High School, even) , but it could be worse, I guess.

11:09 AM
Anonymous said...

Yeah, not one nod to humility, if you ignore the FRIGGIN FIRST LINE of his speech:

I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors.

Sorry to interrupt your I hate everything and everything sucks and nothing is good and the world smells like butt routine.

2:23 AM
wavydavy said...

Oh, Anonymous, did you really expect the doom-and-gloom mongers to actually READ or LISTEN to the speech? It's so much easier to just recite the same old doggerel time after time.

I mean, even Stephen Colbert (pretended that he) was moved by Inauguration Day.

4:06 PM
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10:21 PM

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