I Want My Em Tee Veeeeeeeeeeeeee

Being the Son of a Hospital CEO™, naturally I called Pops and asked him what he thought about Sanjay Gupta for Surgeon General and he explained to me that 1.) all doctors are morons; 2.) the chief of the medical staff is always the biggest, most self-involved moron in the passel of physician-savants; ergo 3.) the Surgeon General oughta be . . . But seriously, why not just make Lou Dobbs the Secretary of Treasury and Katie Couric our Ambassador to the UN? Gupta actually is a fer-real doctor, and yet his principal claim to fame is performing a nitpicking and largely inaccurate "fact check" on that movie where Michael Moore pits Fidel Castro against Charlton Heston in a mixed martial arts fight to the death. Is it really the job of the Surgeon General to tell us all whether or not açai is a superfood and give cookie-eating cubicle drones advice on losing weight without ever leaving their desks?