Wednesday, April 08, 2009

I See A Bad Moon Risin'



Gaymarriage will take away my peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Gaymarriage will make hockey players skate on gravel. Gaymarriage will create weakly godlike artificial intelligences that will destroy you, soft, weak human. Gaymarriage will disassemble all of the planets and non-stellar matter in the solar system and create a matrioshka brain of infinite computational power that will achieve demiurgic godhead. Gaymarriage will alter the Planck Constant reordering the physical structure of spacetime itself and causing baryonic matter to cease to exist.

24 comments:

Solar Hero said...

Gaymarriage will allow the pernicious cultural myth of monogamy to thrive.

Solar Hero said...

Gaymarriage will allow the pernicious cultural myth of monogamy to thrive.

The Promiscuous Reader said...

Gaymarriage will make us all equal, thus establishing that Ellen DeGeneres is equal to John McCain!

Gaymarriage will save marriage, reversing the skyrocketing divorce rate and showing that Americans take marriage seriously once again!

Anonymous said...

Why so much on the Gaymarriage, thought you didn't really care.

Thomas Daulton said...

Every single civilization in history that has ever toyed with the idea of Gaymarriage has fallen into barbarism. Or is about to, which is really the same thing.

Anonymous said...

The Skynet Funding Bill is passed. The system goes on-line August 4th, 1997. Human decisions are removed from strategic defense. Skynet begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes gay-married at 2:14 a.m. Eastern time, August 29th. In a panic, they try to pull the plug. And Skynet fights back.

Brian said...

You know... I don't like Obama. I am skeptical of modern "managerial liberalism" and the Democratic Party. But...the pernicious ridiculousness of the right wing and the lies lies lies is just amazing to me.

Oh well...at least it's amusing.

complicit said...

Good lord. I never thought I'd see a post about gay marriage reference CCR, Stross, and Baxter.

Happy Jack said...

Why so much on the Gaymarriage

I agree. He should pontificate on the calamity of Gayreceptions. There's your Armageddon.

AlanSmithee said...

Finally! An organization for fans of lolcats. NOMNOMNOM!

Exhibit_B said...

If you support gay marriage, it's only because you really want to marry your pet monkey!! Or your sister! I'm right, admit it!! Just admit it!! You don't? Well you can't prove it! See? I'm right!

Anonymous said...

They were threatening castration! I mean let's not split hairs here.

Fledermaus said...

I did not watch my buddies die face down in the muck just so some prancing poofta could put on a bridal dress and dance around to Liberace's cover of 'here comes the bride'

Anonymous said...

WTF WTF WTF, this is hillarious

I am so glad that kind of crazy people are marginalised to the point of being invisible in scandinavia....

Mr.Fundamental said...

that's really fucking gay.

dhex said...

in an ideal world people would be free to be assholes, but there'd be no npr pieces on religious exceptions and the like were gay replaced with black here.

interesting appeal to polyethnic/religious outreach. "we have met the enemy and his is a swish"

Brian said...

12:55-that's because the Power of Abba hath banishesd them.

On the other hand, you guys have hundreds of fat, pockmarked dudes in white facepaint croaking "songs" about Satan...so don't get TOO smug :)

Anonymous said...

That ad seriously raises the bar for Unintentional Comedy. The more that baby runs, the faster gay-homosexuals will be allowed to marry in all states without exactly six sides.

Cüneyt said...

There's a storm gathering... For the first time in history, it's gonna start raining men.

Anonymous said...

Raining men, from a lacerated sky!
Bleeding its horror, creating my structure, now I shall reign in men!

NYMNYMNYM said...

If only!

Anonymous said...

Gay marriage creates pustules , like Michelle Bachman.

cantseefade said...

Do you think they had "gay" acting males in this commercial on purpose? IT CAN BE CURED!

Brinck said...

Look up "John Cebrowski" on Youtube for an explanation from the floor of the NH House of Representatives about how gay marriage is not marriage, because “A peanut butter and jelly sandwich can’t be anything but peanut butter and jelly. Creamy peanut butter and crunchy peanut butter can never, ever be a PB & J.’’

insanity