Do you know the story of Frank Ricci? Born with a club foot to a gypsy apothecary and an aquatic Manimal, he was struck deaf and dumb at the tender age of twenty-three by a case of virulent retardation, but by studying hard and joining some union or something, he became a firefighter, standing 20 hand at the shoulder. Then a black negro snuck into his lonely widow's walk and stole his precious, magical ring, transforming into a great dragon and destroying the village. Oh no, there were no firefighters! Barack Obama and Sonia Sotomayor had imprisoned all the white people, leaving only shiftless blacks, lazy Mexicans, and the Japanese, who consider it shameful to fight fires. So, so shameful. To their ancestors.