Monday, June 22, 2009

Lifestyles: IOZ Interviews The Revolution

I met The Revolution on a blustery, muggy day at a small café where she takes her coffee, or occasionally a glass of white wine, most afternoons. Her schedule has been busy lately, or so she told me over the phone, and I apologized for being late. She picked at a croissant as we talked about her storied past and plans for the future.

IOZ: Things have been hectic for you.

THE REVOLUTION: Oh, yes, yes. You know, I had been spending a great deal of time in Eastern Europe and Central Asia, doing the whole, sort of, post-Soviet thing--

IOZ: Moldova. Georgia.

TR: Yes, yes, and a few others. The Ukraine. Azerbijan. Georgia is of course the one everyone knows.

IOZ: It didn't perform as you'd expected.

TR: No, regrettably. You know, the thing was, the critics liked it, the reviews were very positive! But it never . . . somehow, it didn't catch on. Which was terribly disappointing, because I really think that one . . . well, it had something to say. I thought so, anyway. Of course, it wasn't a total bust. I got to meet John McCain, briefly.

IOZ: The US Senator.

TR: Yes. Bit of a language barrier, I thought, but a fine older gentleman. Perhaps a little . . . dotty, no? Asked me to marry him! I think he was serious, the poor dear.

IOZ: And more recently?

TR: Of course, I have been working for quite some time with Pakistan. We are what you might call long-term collaborators, although, of course, one hates to date oneself. [She laughs.] No need to be vain, though. The problem with that sort of relationship is the commercial interests are always trying to interfere. All about product with them, never about process. "Oh, why don't you add something about the Tribal Zones." That sort of thing. "How about a full-cast number in the streets of Lahore?" Real bang-you-over-the-head sort of stuff.

IOZ: Do you feel that it's salvageable?

TR: Absolutely. Listen, I wouldn't do it if I didn't. Whatever they do for profit, there's always some slim chance that it will produce . . . art, maybe, you'd call it.

IOZ: How about other current projects? You're receiving excellent notes on Iran.

TR: Now that was a project that really came together at the last minute. You see, we had all . . . we were doing a whole Lebanon thing, a whole Christian-meets-Muslim, wrong-side-of-the-tracks, star-crossed kind of story. Well, it all fell apart at the very last minute, and the producers decided to stick pretty much with what they had, and I . . . got the distinct feeling that maybe they thought I was a little too . . . old for the part. There's no less delicate way to put it. I mean, War, he can age, right? Gravitas, or whatever? But a wrinkle here or there and I'm getting sympathy cards and splendid regrets. Fortunately, I got a call just a few days later, saying, Tehran! Get on the plane! So I did, and that's become that.

IOZ: Can you give us a sneak peek, a hint about the ending.

TR: A lady never reveals.

IOZ: Well, thank you so much for talking to me. Best wishes.

TR: Thank you darling. To you as well. Vive moi, as they say.

IOZ: Indeed.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well done, but, ahem - sneak peek.

JR Boyd said...

As the revolutionaries like to say, ROFLMAO!!

Aaron said...

"The actor with the record deal trying to play the part."

Anonymous said...

Very clever, IOZ. Veeeeeeeeeeeeery clever.

Thomas Daulton said...

Can she pencil in something for the United States, maybe later this year?

I live in Mexico. The Mexicans get two different holidays: Independence Day from Spain, on September 16th, 1810, and also "Reform Day," celebrating the Revolution of November 16, 1910. The U.S. needs a Revolution so that we can get another holiday. Who doesn't want another holiday?

Anonymous said...

awesome

Jenny said...

You really think this one's staged? Really? Hell, even Richard Seymour's taking it seriously.

Jenny said...

here: http://leninology.blogspot.com/2009/06/question-of-solidarity.html

Justin said...

Can you put the revolution in powerpoint for us?

Daniel said...

Love these. (I think you've done two now?)

AlanSmithee said...

You really think this one's staged?

Not "staged" so much as "pre-recorded in front of a live studio audience."

Anonymous said...

I'm definitely putting this in my Netflix queue!