Thomas Friedman, America's most popular maoist, returns to inform us that Iraq and Afghanistan are battered children. But they are not our children! They are, like, Russia's and Saddam Hussein's children. They are Osama bin Laden's children. And we, America, we are the sassy black nun who is a social worker who is their drama teacher who helps them to believe in themselves through the power of music and algebra and gettin jiggy wit it, because they are the future, and then they get the scholarship and Iraq realizes that even though Afghanistan is the nerd they are really in love and in an extended musical montage we all get together and make the best prom ever.