Freedom. Whiskey. Hairpiece.

America. Though we never tire of haranguing other countries, cf. Russia, Iran, etc., for the unpardonable crime of interfering in the politics and behaviors of those nations that sit in close proximity to them, we also never tire of telling other nations to interfere in the politics and behaviors of those nations that sit in close proximity to them. It's like the pot calling the kettle and asking it to reverse the charges and then yelling "You're black!" and then shooting the kettle in the head and then blowing up the moon! Hurrah.

“Twenty years ago, the world watched in awe and admiration as the men and women of this region broke the shackles of repression and emerged a free people,” Mr. Biden said in the auditorium of the rebuilt library. Now, he said, Romania and its neighbors must help countries like Armenia and Azerbaijan to develop their own democracies. “You delivered on the promise of your revolution. You are now in a position to help others do the same.”

Now. You may be asking yourself, What in the world can Romania do to make Azerbaijan a democracy? Well, Azerbaijan is already sort of a democracy, and the Romanian government fell last week after a Parliamentary vote of No Confidence, so, for the moment, nothing! But maybe when they form a new coalition, they can invade, or something.

Armenia is also a practicing, if flawed democracy. You know, it goes to elections, but not every Sunday, and it's been a while since it was totally free and fair. And all of this raises the question of how many times Joe Biden can eat his own foot, pass it through his GI track, shit it out, and eat it again, before the tightening knot of his extraordinary feat of Ouroboran malapropism actually cuts him in half and spills his steaming guts all over the dais.