Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Forensics

I would like to revisit Sarah Palin for a moment. I want to concede that she is wrong about everything. But I also want to say, look, your schematic cultural objections to her winking style of pretended regular-guy-ism is no excuse for judging her to be a greater moron than Barack Obama, who is also wrong about everything. If there is one characteristic that this dude has demonstrated over and over again, it is that the world-view he has synthesized is fundamentally stupid and unsound. His Nobel speech proceeded more neatly from word to word than Sarah Palin's RNC convention barnburner, but as an expression of a thesis it was equally incoherent, and as a statement of principles it was a good deal more bloodthirsty.

40 comments:

Montag said...

HE SPEAKS IN COMPLETE SENTENCES AND HE IS PRESIDENTIAL.

IOZ said...

"Presidential" is definitely one of my favorite adjectives. It's like, imagine if you hired your next employee because he was Administrative Assistantial.

¯\(°_0)/¯ said...

Well, don't you (they)?

Montag said...

how would your recent Wal-Mart experience have been had the person who waited on not been cashierical?

Montag said...

shoulda been a "you" in there somewhere. FML.

¯\(°_0)/¯ said...

Yeah, like, I don't want no flat chests and dog faces at Hooter's.

NutellaonToast said...

Everyone is wrong about everything. it is very difficult to blow up an airplane OR be omniscient

Anonymous said...

EDGY POAST DUDE

Anonymous said...

AND ALMOST AS FINELY REASONED AS YOUR OBAMA = CHENEY POASTS. classics, those were.

Anonymous said...

were
you
listening
to
the
dude
's
story
?

Anonymous said...

12:50 - lolwut?

Montag said...

12:46/12:47

the bums lost! get a job, sir.

Truth Excavator said...

How can a man be both fundamentally stupid and bloodthirsty?

I think he was clever in his Nobel Speech. Clever like a devil.

IOZ said...

How can a man be both fundamentally stupid and bloodthirsty?

Yes. How can a man be both tall and blond? How can a man be both thirty-seven and 170lbs.? How can a man be both right-handed and short of breath?

druff said...

so are you really landing on the "incompetence" side in the eternal "incompetence vs. deviousness" debate? he believes his own baloney, or are you just taking a shortcut to help you in the Palin comparison?

fun post.

IOZ said...

I didn't say he was incompetent. I said he's stupid. These are not synonyms.

Rowan said...

Is there a class or something I can take on being Administrative Assistantial? Cause I could use a fucking job.

Anonymous said...

DRILL BABY DRILL!

Anonymous said...

Rowan: It's a little expensive but 4 years at a liberal arts college should give you all the skills you need for that.

Enron said...

America, fuck yeah!

rowan said...

WAAAAY ahead of you, nonny. Hell, it was 4 years at a liberal arts college that put me in paid co-op jobs as an administrative assistant.

Anonymous said...

i love your "reluctant" defenses of ARE COUNTRY type reactionaries man. they are very EDGY.

Christopher said...

Well, a couple days ago I drove by a billboard with an ad for American Family insurance, with a slogan like "Family is always there for you"

Meanwhile Geico ads are making jokes about Cavepeople or lizards or whatever.

One of these companies has enough respect for me to at least craft lies that are mildly entertaining, and one thinks I'll buy into stupid maudlin bullshit that wouldn't be true even if you were talking about real families, let alone an insurance company.

I feel the same way about Obama and Palin. At least Obama feels the need to make his nonsense sound semi-plausible.

Truth Excavator said...

It was a rhetorical question.

Guest said...

yeah i have to admit, that nobel speech was where i finally caved on obama. until that day i honestly thought he had something on the ball, but that speech was nothing but imperialist bullshit. i was never a huge obama-lover, but i thought "ok, good federal judges, better administrative picks, less secrecy, fewer wars..." he's come through on exactly nothing. this dawn johnsen fiasco is like the twin-final-nail-in-the-coffin along with that ghastly nobel speech.

Guest said...

but, look, no, your thesis is wrong. obama is still >30 iq points smarter than palin, without a doubt. she's a complete shithead.

almostinfamous said...

obama is still >30 iq points smarter than palin, without a doubt.

to paraphrase my math professor, 30+ (a small number*) is still around 30. so you're not saying Obama is not stupid. But apparently, you know, good enough for government work...


*a small number is the technical term for 'a complete shithead'

Spike said...

This post makes up for everything.

Anonymous said...

It's not Sarah Palin's -style- that scares me.

As always, we must choose between the lesser of two evils.

IOZ said...

We know which Lebowski you are, Lebowski.

Agi said...

Or the lesser of two idiots?

Anonymous said...

Is this a follow up to your observational post that the America underclass is retarded, fat, and dumb based on your "anthropological" trip to Wallmart?

Who's the one with "schematic cultural objections".

Montag said...

you're not dealing with morons here.

Anonymous said...

You forgot about federal funding for stem cell research. Otherwise, yeah.

Enron said...

"You forgot about federal funding for stem cell research." I thought Obie said there was no more money cuz Goldman Sachs took it all.

Phillip Allen said...

Anonymouse, @ 4:31 AM:

"As always, we must choose between the lesser of two evils."

No. Not at all.

If you think voting means anything positive at all, you can cast a vote for a candidate/party that most closely jibes with your politics (should there be such a thing where you live).

If you agree that voting is pernicious in that it serves to legitimate a corrupt, fraudulent process, then don't bother with it at all. After all, it only encourages them.

Anonymous said...

Obama isn't stupid. His campaign was brilliant, and his administration up to this point has been a resounding success, at least short-term. His worldview seems pretty pragmatic to me?

Just a few points:
Kept the big money flowin' to the military industrial complex

All the usual spigots still spoutin', agricultural subsidies, war on drugs, intelligence black budgets etc (so far)

Huge windfall in so many ways for Goldman and co, wall street, investment banks etc

On the cusp of a big prize for american insurance companies

Promising groundwork on starting payouts to 'green' energy companies

More, I'm sure
---

I can't recall a single real mistake of any substantial cash value. The medium term financial and monetary situation is somewhat unsound, i guess, but he mostly inherited those problems.

What has he got so wrong? Anyone? Help me out here, what am I missing

Barry said...

Sarah had success in Alaska. Obama has no success. That make Palin better. She's Pro-Life and proved it - that makes her way better than Obama.

Anonymous said...

A Palin presidency is likely to end this way:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CdKuLRmg8k

If she gets the nomination, you had best put on a gas-mask and pull the switch for Obama.

Charles F. Oxtrot said...

Barry O'Barmy is great simply because Sarah Palin is a Rethug.

I thought it was clear.