Friday, June 04, 2010

Rebels Without a Clause


You know, the last time we had a "secret war," we killed a whole lotta people in Laos and Cambodia for even less than the no fucking reason that we were killing them in Vietnam. I wonder if there is a lesson here.

Posted by IOZ at 8:58 AM | email »
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18 comments:

Professor Coldheart said...

I thought that ad for "Only $100k+ Jobs" was an infographic associated with the article.

"General Stanley McChrystal, commander of the Left Coast theater of operations, could not be reached for comment. However, reporters embedded with the 101st Airborne deployed in Sacramento told us the following ..."

9:13 AM
Dunc said...

I wonder if there is a lesson here.

Yup - the lesson is, you can do whatever the fuck you want if you can do it in secret. Just put down one big line item for "shit we're not telling you about - don't even ask"... You can probably skim some of that off, too - it's not like anybody can check, is it?

All together now:
It'll be just like I was back in El Salvador,
I'll jerk off with my gun,
And kill the poor!

Which reminds me - Laos and Cambodia was, what, three, maybe four, secret wars ago? It's so hard to keep count, what with the secrecy an' all...

9:27 AM
¯\(°_0)/¯ said...

Barack Obama's black suit turns out to be an alien, too!

9:28 AM
David said...

Barack Obama's black suit turns out to be an alien, too!

Well played.

10:18 AM
StonedTerrorist said...

And its mainly possible due to the corrupt traitors who run countries like mine. They sell their own principles, freedom and sovereignty for $$$. :S
Shit, why don't terrorists attack them i wonder...

10:33 AM
Christopher said...

This really fascinates me. Like, why does this kind of bullshit seem like a good idea to Obama and the fine folks in the CIA?

Near as I can tell, this spy thriller stuff tends to kill a lot of innocent people for nothing, 99% of the time.

What are they seeing that I'm not?

10:59 AM
Anonymous said...

No, no lesson. Now go back to paying your taxes,so we can kill people.

1:24 PM
Anonymous said...

I don't see any connection to Vietnam, Walter.

1:34 PM
Josh K-sky said...

the last time we had a "secret war,"

You forgot this one.

2:07 PM
¯\(°_0)/¯ said...

In the sequel, Joe Biden learns economics from a homeless lady and Luke Cage.

2:17 PM
stras said...

I like the cut of your jib, Unpronounceable Squiggle-face Person.

4:30 PM
Jack Crow said...

Christopher,

What does Angelina Jolie get out of turning herself into a commodity, in the service of a very, very profitable industry?

A very full life.

I think that's what the Yalies in the Company get out of doing what they do. Adventure. Profit. Lots of travel. The edge of existence.

Power has its perks. I think if it were all responsibility, all the time, and only available to drudge loving saints - no one would want the job of it.

Why did Gilgamesh like the gig, so many centuries ago? Sargon? A succession of Pharoahs? Julius Caesar? Napoleon? Stalin?

Why did Arthur Koestler enjoy being a spy for the Comintern? Why did Malraux love raising funds and planes for the Spanish Republic, or traipsing about Indochine?

Why did Saint-Exupéry love flying over the Maghrib? Or Mallory, climbing mountains?

Why does anyone test that edge of existence - from helicopter ski dives to base jumping to crawling through Vietnamese swamps, killing Viet Cong with strangleholds?

Power is fun.

And for a significant portion of any given population (enough to be noteworthy), power over others is the ultimate thrill.

If you were given armed staffers and a fairly large budget, what would you take?

Respect,

Jack

4:38 PM
augustus818 said...

I'm not a psychotic power hungry war-monger, and if you don't believe me, I'll fucking kill you. Now don't tell anyone about our secret meeting where I did not specifically tell you I'd never kill you.

I think the lesson is that Hollywood has us all plugged into a bad remake of Apocalypse Now. With no Dennis Hopper or Marlon Brando. And Martin's Sheen's role is played by Ashton Kutcher who does nothing but drool on his M-16 for an hour.

Wave of the future dude, 100% .... well you know the rest.

6:26 PM
Anonymous said...

OMG....IOZ uses Internet Explorer?

7:54 PM
Enron said...

Nicaragua ain't so hot either. Except for surfers.

5:51 PM
drip said...

Nicaragua ain't so hot either. Except for surfers. It's hot but not too hot. And the surfers have waves. And the beer is cold and the Flora de Cana sweet and it's not that far from Texas, or so I heard.

6:32 PM
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