Cool Hand Puke

The sentimental American affection for scammers and con men is this country's most enduring, charming, and wonderful aspect, and our ability to pay just about anything to be told what it is we want to hear, from caffeine-cracked, Docker-clad conferencees sucking at the management guru teat to the CIA paying $5 million bucks to some random Iranian for information about a "nuclear program", well, it never fails to amaze and impress.

For $5 million bucks, I have important information on the Iranian nuclear program. Shit, I'll put pins in a map for a fifty-spot a piece.