Creative Commoners

From the first days after the fall of Baghdad on April 9, 2003, America and Iraq seemed divided by more than language; they never shared the same vocabulary. Perhaps they never could, defined as occupier and occupied, where promises of aid and assistance often had the inflection of condescension. These days, though, they do not even seem to try to listen to each other — too tired to hear the other, too chastised by experience to offer the benefit of doubt.

-Anthony Shadid, New York Times

[INT. Corner Office.

Bill Keller, executive editor, sits behind a large desk stacked neatly with papers and magazines. Perhaps there is a closed laptop. He is in shirtsleeves, perhaps rolled to the elbows, but his tie is properly cinched to the collar. Sitting across from him in a pencil skirt and short, conservative heels is foreign editor Susan Chira. Enter reporter, Anthony Shadid.]

SHADID: You wanted to see me?

KELLER: Yes, Tony, come on in. Sit down, sit down. [Shahid takes a seat.] Tony, first of all, nothing to be nervous about.

SHADID: I'm not nervous.

KELLER: Exactly. Now Susan and I were just talking, weren't we, Susan?

CHIRA: We were, Bill.

KELLER: We were, well, I don't want to be too delicate about it. We were talking about your piece, Tony.

SHADID: Okay.

KELLER: Nothing bad, mind you. Nothing negative.

CHIRA: Not at all. We love the piece.

KELLER: Yes. We love it. Wouldn't change a thing. Can I get you some coffee, water?

SHADID: I'm fine.

KELLER: Of course you are. So, Susan, why don't you tell Tony what we were talking about.

CHIRA: Well, we'd just like to see a few changes.

SHADID: You said you didn't want to change anything.

KELLER: And we don't!

CHIRA: Absolutely not. Nothing substantive. Just stylistically.

KELLER: Exactly. Susan, you have such a way with words. Stylistic changes. We want the substance to remain the same.

SHADID: How do you mean, stylistic?

KELLER: Susan, can you explain what we mean?

CHIRA: Well, perhaps not stylistic. More tonal.

KELLER: Yes. Tonal. A change in tone.

SHADID: Tone.

KELLER: Yes. For instance, the part where you say, "From the first days after the fall of Baghdad on April 9, 2003, America and Iraq were divided by more than language," well, it strikes us as a little . . . strident.

SHADID: Really?

CHIRA: I think what bill means to say is a little demonstrative.

KELLER: Exactly. Demonstrative. What we are looking for is a little more nuance. A little more suggestion that there are shades of gray.

CHIRA: What would you think about seemed in place of were?

SHADID: I'd think that it made a statement of fact sound like a matter of perception and perspective.

KELLER: That's exactly what we thought! Good, so we're in agreement.

SHADID: I'm not sure that I--

KELLER: And then, what we'd like to suggest . . . Suan, can you explain what we'd like to suggest.

CHIRA: Instead of ending the sentence at language, we'd like to add a semicolon and then, "they never shared the same vocabulary."

KELLER: Right. They never shared the same vocabulary. What do you think, Tony?

SHADID: I think it's stylisticly odd and definitely redundant.

CHIRA: What Anthony is saying, Bill, is that it adds emphasis.

SHADID: No, that's not--

KELLER: Great! We're in agreement. And then the rest of it. Well, look. Tony, let me ask you, have you ever had a girlfriend?

SHADID: I'm married.

KELLER: I'll take that as a yes. And can you remember that moment when you were still in love, but at the same time, you could see the relationship coming to an end.

SHADID: We're happily married.

KELLER: Exactly. So what I am saying is, America and Iraq. Why not a bit of wistfulness. You know, a sense of loss mingled with regret.

SHADID: That seems grossly inappropriate, don't you think? The US is still an occupying power. This was supposed to be a quick story on Iraqi reaction to the latest announcements of withdrawal.

KELLER: Exactly! We fought, we got together, we broke up, we got back together, we had good times, bad times, we broke up again, we reconciled, but now, at long last, it's really coming to an end.

CHIRA: We just want to soften the edges a little.

KELLER: A little softer focus.

CHIRA: Sort of a Lost-in-Translation vibe, I think, is what we're going for.

KELLER: Right, right! Exactly. America is sort of like Bill Murray, and Iraq is sort of like Scarlet Johannson. And the war is sort of like Japan.

SHADID: I'm not comfortable . . . look, even in pro-war circles, there is general agreement that we've failed to achieve--

CHIRA: Right, yes.

KELLER: Exactly. And that's what I mean about tone. Enough with the finger pointing. It wasn't anyone's fault. These things just happen. People drift apart. Expectations are different. You grow and change. No hard feelings, right?

CHIRA: Tony, why don't you just leave this with us.

KELLER: Great work, Tony, by the way, and my regards to the wife.