Monday, November 29, 2010

Uh-merican Football

I just want to take this opportunity to proclaim that I no longer understand the rules of football. So, like, James Harrison delivering a mid-chest tackle to Ryan Fitzpatrick durning which the top of his helmet makes incidental contact with the bottom of the QB's facemask is a 15-yard personal foul, whereas 17 Bills linemen jumping on Ben Roethlisberger and driving his head in the turf while they repeatedly punch him in the gut trying to strip the ball even though he is already down is a legal play. Chris Kemoeatu jogging off the sideline is apparently a hold, whereas seven Buffaloes horsecollaring a Steelers lineman is a legal block.

Had the Steelers lost, I wouldn't have blamed it on the officiating. I would have blamed it on Emmanuel Sanders consistent ability to turn upfield before he actually catches the ball. But still, I am starting to get the distinct scent of An Example Being Made.

17 comments:

what the Tee Vee taught said...

No no, you're good. The rules are stupid — it is America's favorite game, isn't it?


Ultimately, the what-you-can and what-you-can't "legally" do as a defensive player makes the game great fun for the spectator. Assuming we all agree the screaming indignantly at the tee vee is great fun.

IOZ said...

Screaming indignantly at anything is great fun.

Professor Coldheart said...

Yeah, there was a similarly questionable call in one of the games I saw on Thursday - helmet-to-helmet when the ball carrier was hunched over and had his shoulder down. So there was no way to tackle him except by (accidentally) grazing his helmet.

Or maybe that was one of the college games on Friday. I forget. Damn. That's what I get for not livetweeting it.

In other news, the Steelers are coming to Baltimore next week.

Anonymous said...

Rules, hahaha!!!!

Football is the American obsession. It's supposed to be legitimate and on up and up more so than anything else in America?

A month ago ESPN was telling a coach when to use his timeouts. Do you think the shell game ends with the influence of media buys?

And a Steeler fan complaining about calls? Fuck off.

Anonymous said...

I happened upon a football practice yesterday (at SF City College, but definitely a youngish, semi-pro outfit a la Pop Warner; mid-teens I would guess) while jogging around the track with the family. I occurred to us that American Football exists solely so that fat kids could belong. Seriously, you need at least 5 fat kids on offense and 4 on defense. Maybe a fat tight end, fullback, or linebacker or two. Big fat kids playing soccer or basketball or volleyball or waterpolo? None or one, at most. Baseball needs catchers, but not many. Our fat kids only have two options: O line or D line. God bless America.

Jack Crow said...

When Big Ben gets gutpunched, the universe becomes a marginally better place. Always. Thank the imaginary gods for Bills players willing to do the unreal work of the fabricated furies and fates.

fish said...

whereas 17 Bills linemen jumping on Ben Roethlisberger and driving his head in the turf while they repeatedly punch him in the gut trying to strip the ball even though he is already down is a legal play.

One can only hope this will remain to be true for the foreseeable future.

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Kafka said...

Hockey might be too socialist for this crowd (popular in Canada, Russia, New England, Minnesota and Nordic Countries) but the sport gets the violence right - real blood and broken teeth for the amusement of the fans. No rules governing the actual fight except that the fighters must be wearing skates and standing on ice (bare knuckle and no headgear is customary but not required).

Jack Crow said...

Kafka,

I don't know if it's socialistic (say, like soccer) but teevee ruined hockey. Gotta be there, in the bleeds, looking down on all that chaos.

Teevee improves football, cuz football is martial and kinda fascistic - and the telly always improves on fascist trends.

Kafka said...

Jack Crow - being a townie I know my home is in the bleachers but standing at the boards for a while on the way to get a bear is still a god given right.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure the Seattle Seahawks feel terrible about bad calls going against the Steelers.

Mr.Fundamental said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JS said...

Thank the imaginary gods for Bills players willing to do the unreal work of the fabricated furies and fates

...would be a better line if it read

"Thank the imaginary gods for Bills players willing to do the unreal work of the fabricated furry"

Btw, it's obvious that this Tiffany Jewelry chick has the hots for you, IOZ.

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

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