Thursday, January 06, 2011

This Be the Worst

I think it very interesting that George Will, betrayed by his rambling, bumbling, incoherent, almost nonsensical prose as having dipped his lizard tongue into a few dozen too many G&Ts before putting pen to papyrus chooses a verse by Philip Larkin, of all poets, as an epigraph to an essay on free will and self-control. Larkin rather more famously observed:

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.
But, yes, "skepticism about free will . . . has become convenient and soothing." Soothing!

The idea that America was a society of clenched-jaw, New-England Protestant restraint until right around the time the Beatles debarked from that airplane is quite simply the looniest idea ever written, erased, recalled, written, erased, remembered, rewritten, ad inf. on the disintegrating palimpsest of this dumb nation's fictional historical palimpsests.

45 comments:

Bore said...

"Even families have dispersed within the home: Time was, they listened to one radio together; then came the transistor."

Papa could uncross mama's legs any time he damn well pleased without the government sticking its nose in.

Anonymous said...

Some of America is still clench-jawed Puritan. This hedonist knows from personal experience.

Montag said...

under perfect circumstances, willpower is easy!

also: "affluent people, for whom food is a relatively minor expense, are less likely than poor people to be obese. Surely this has something to do with habits of self-control that are conducive to social success generally."

what a dick.

Anonymous said...

i havent give up on my resolution yet, which is to urinate on george wills grave, on reagans birthday, every year. hurry up and die george.

Anonymous said...

he chose a Larkin poem because for Will, History stopped in the mid 80's. and so did Larkin.

¯\(°_0)/¯ said...

With an attitude like that, it is no wonder that he didn't get into the Baseball Hall of Fame.

Aeolus said...

With a face like that, he may yet get into the HOF-- as a baseball.

mandt said...

palimpsest----the very Gore Vidal of it all!

Happy Jack said...

If A Midwife's Tale is any indication, back when families were huddling around whale oil lanterns instead of Victrolas, a lot of kids managed to have premarital nookie without living in Haight-Ashbury.

Since that diary was written around the time of the Revolution, I have to assume that Will is pining for the days of witch burning. That's the kind of shit that'll produce self-control.

AlanSmithee said...

Fauxstalgia. How does it work?

Justin said...

With all due respect, this article deserves a much more thorough going-over than you've given.

For instance, he diagnoses America's the opposing values of America's consumer/producer personalities as bipolar. Yo, say what you want about the tenets of psychology as a valid science, but personality splits are not classified as bipolar.

Then he comes up with his notion about how wealthier people are not as obese as poor people and ascribes this to a greater amount of self-control on their part, as opposed to the fact that rich people can shop at whole foods and poor people can afford to eat at McDonald's. He also betrays his bias that wealthy people are so because of innate superiority and virtue. And he doesn't refer to financial wealth as business success, but social success.

And so on.

NutellaonToast said...

Perfect! The foolish belief that human beliefs are novel to our generation hacked apart as if it's a belief novel to our generation! God, I know I miss the point sometimes, but when I "get" the irony of your posts, it really does make it all worth it.

IOZ said...

While it's not all that unusual to find that a person doesn't really understand what irony is, it's a pretty rare day when you find a native speaker who gets confused by sometimes.

Picador said...

First, America was transformed from a nation of want into one of wants. Then the 1960s repudiated restraint, equating it with repression. Next, inflation in the 1970s discouraged delay of gratification.

I can't tell if Will is channeling Jesse Jackson, Malcolm X, or Doctor Seuss here. "From want to wants... repudiate restraint, equate; discourage delay, repression, inflation, gratification!" Testify, brother.

LP Steve said...

The looniest idea ever written? IOZ, it's common knowledge that sexual intercourse began in 1963, a little before the Beatles' first LP.

weaver said...

affluent people, for whom food is a relatively minor expense, are less likely than poor people to be obese. Surely this has something to do with habits of self-control that are conducive to social success generally

No, George, ya feckin eejit, this has something to do with the fact that poor people consume more food because other sources of enjoyment are out of their price range.

Anonymous said...

@8:46

no. have you ever shopped for groceries at a "Box n Save ? what is avaiable at prices that poor people can afford is canned and frozen processed carbohydrate bombs (white bread, peanut butter and jelly, bags of frozen overporecessed potato products, gallons of sweetened juice and soft drinks). These foods can be had in bulk very very cheap. eating healthy fresh food is not an option for the poor.Bear in mind, thats just the poor who have access to a discount grocery store. In detroit, for instance, there ARE NO grocery stores,there are only cheap bodagas, whos selection is 200% worse.


to the douchebag who made the absurd commet about the wealthy "having more self control and dicipline" i have only two things to say. 1. the revolution IS coming. 2. I hope one of the upper east side married whores i have been fucking is your daughter. i havent noticed she has much "self restraint".

demize! said...

Thank you IOZ. for making me aware of the Larkin piece. I'm almost afraid to say I didn't know it as to be called a phillistine by anonymous pedant. Good times...

Anonymous said...

George Will... He sounds like a white guy.. And probably looks much shorter on TV

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