Welcome to the World Wide Web

While everyone else is busy talking about how the American Letterpress Picayune Company Incorporated recently purchased Arachne Huffinpuffington XLV's community newsletter, I would just like to note, because I know at least one of Nick Denton's manlove boyslaves reads this blog, that the Gawker media empire site redesign sucks my balls, and I do not mean that it opens its pretty young mouth and takes my balls gently, one at a time, into the warm embrace of its moist affection, its vulnerable eyes, now brown, now almost green in the soft winter light peering up from time to time across the low, flat plane of my stomach and the subtle rise of my chest to meet my own dark eyes and, glancing in them a tender submission that is the truest, if most brief, if most carnal and therefore most fleeting, form of affection, to take my thighs and guide them higher, to move from there toward a deeper and harder co-mingling of desire and disgust, an act of defiant preparation, a defiling . . . ahem, uh. Yeah. What was I saying? Oh, yeah, um, the Gawker redesign sucks my balls like navigating the WaPo site sucks my balls. It is that horrible. If David Cronenberg got ahold of Katherine Graham's corpse and reanimated it in some satanic scifi ritual, the new Gawker sites would be her brood.