Tuesday, August 02, 2011
If the Tea Party did not exist, we would have to invent it. Hey, waidaminute, that's what fucking happened. Fret all you like about a bunch of pasty Midwestern slobs in American-flag underpants overpaying for Goldline coins between ads for the strongest erectile dysfunction herbal remedy this side of true Scandinavian fish oil, these Chinamen are not the issue, man. The difference between tea party yahoos and progressive worriers is the difference between beagles and terriers, and if they just stopped for a moment to sniff each other's asshole, they'd realize that cosmetics aside, they're all just dogs. Poor, abused, unadoptable dogs awaiting the grimly pleasant vet tech and the numbing, pre-euthenasiac sting of the needle. The Tea Party held America hostage during "the debt debate"? No, you fool, you idiot; fucking rich people did it. The Tea Party is just some shit they cooked up to keep you busy, to keep you fuming at each other while they steal your tooth fairy money and grandma's dentures. Every policy that you abhor and mistakenly ascribe to the ersatz conservative revanchism of the so-called tea-party movement is a willful policy of oligarchic centralism with the end goal of extracting every last red cent from every last human being on the earth. You are both the miner and the mine. Strap the gaslight to your forehead, bub, and stick your head right back in where the sun don't shine.
Yea verily, I have returned unto you to put it straight to yinz: there is no tea party; there are no Democrats; there is no America. There is only global capital. There is no keeping American competitive for the future against the Chinese children of the math-science learning gap to win tomorrow today with the power of innovation. There is a single transnational elite whose allegiance is to itself. They would've fucked you on Saturday; they'll fuck you next Wednesday instead. There was no debt crisis. THERE IS NO DEBT CEILING. You are like prisoners in a concentration camp, tearing each other apart over crusts of bread. The guards check their rifles. The kommandant shtups his mistress. The carrion birds circle against the concrete sky.
You must destroy the rich.