Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Costaguana

I am really enjoying the United States these days.  It has come more and more to resemble the sort of tawdry, ramshackle, sweaty, tumbledown, corrupt Greeneland that it was always destined to be--or that it always was but managed to hide behind a mountain of dollar-menu burger patties and tip-hazard SUVs.  Well, it sort of sucks to live in a decrepit police state, but at least it finally feels a little more like a real country: demonstrators, work stoppages, tent cities, felonious oligarchs helicoptering to-and-fro, private security firms, a hapless and yet still terrifying apparatus of state repression.  A fat cop on the edge of cardiac arrest swinging a knightstick fruitlessly at a dirty kid.  Forever.

68 comments:

Jack Crow said...

Now we just need a few more visible Durrutis, Hoods and Dillingers.

Professor Coldheart said...

I believe Diamond Dave called it 20 years ago. Dude's prophetic:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-NshzYK9y0

zencomix said...

Heh heh, "knightstick".

Sorry said...

Ain't we lucky we got 'em:
End Times!

Blames Madison said...

What work stoppages?

¯\(°_0)/¯ said...

What work stoppages?

I think he's talking about the NBA lockout.

IOZ said...

I was thinking of the awesome Seattle longshoremen wildcat strike, actually.

Enron said...

Not to mention packs of feral animals roaming the ruins of industrial towns

Anonymous said...

Meh. Just wait till payday -- that sweaty ramshackle will buy herself a fancy new outfit that puts those patties to shame.

NutellaonToast said...

http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkmua71PK01qfq1lso1_500.jpg

Leonard said...

So, a "real" country is a banana republic. (I prefer an unreal country.)

The 1965 immigration revolution has succeeded: the old people were unsatisfactory so we are electing a new people, and are in the process of replicating their society. California (already minority white) shows us both the path and the destination.

James N. said...

I have been informed by reliable sources that California knows how to party, as evidenced by numerous cities therein.

mark r. said...

lolcats - the 99 purrcent

http://icanhascheezburger.com/2011/10/18/funny-pictures-occupy-wall-street-cats-99-percent/

george jones said...

being leonard must be exhausting.

NutellaonToast said...

Don't worry. He's a white man in America so he'll soon be forced out. He will blink out of existence or else turn into a lesbian midget eskimo albino that is left handed.

Brian M said...

I don't know, george. Being afraid and hateful all the time is also so very exciting. And the intellectual stimulation of calculating and researching all the racial classifications and their impacts on corporate profitability-what fun!

BOO! leonard...I just heard through the grapevine that an illegal Mexican whistled at your wife down at Home Depot. Round up a gang of Galts and do some some LYNCHING, my man.

Brian M said...

and I might note I much prefer living in "mongrel" California to any pure white nirvanna Leonard is pining for. They knew how tyo keep the darkies in their place in 1944 Mississippi, leonard!

demize! said...

And O'Brien described the future to Winston in room 101 at The Ministry of Love; "A fat cop on the edge of cardiac arrest swinging a knightstick fruitlessly at a dirty kid. Forever."

Eerily Lackadaisical said...

The Gelded Age?

President Gas said...

Good times, sure, but we have WMDs stored in pretty much every county in the republic and who knows how close the militant fringe is to getting its hands on some of them -- what then? You want unemployable bomb-throwers throwin' bombs all over your grilled steak soft taco?

Anonymous said...

Nut Toast,

I just want to point out that I am as far old right as Leonard is, and I got the Dead Milkman reference. So it is possible to be super hip and still understand that NAMs cannot sustain civilization as we know it.

demize! said...

Real in the sense of Italy in the 70's but with Porta-Potties.

Eerily Lackadaisical said...

Hey demize - speaking of things Italiano, how bout we market "Portia-potties" with the slogan:

"The quality of thy shit is not strained"

NutellaonToast said...

Ohh, damn it nony, and here I thought racist assholes were bad. Now you've gone and proven me wrong by showing me that they, too, can know bands that I know.

I should've seen it sooner. I have, after all, always been a fan of pigeons... even the right-wing ones from outerspace (which I hear is very old).

NutellaonToast said...

Also, WTF is a NAM?

Inkberrow said...

Nutella---

These are a few of your many smells.

Anonymous said...

California, yes, is minority white... for, what, 10,000 years? Them thar Niners kilt 'em fast as they could, but they keep coming back.

You're goddamn right I'm living in the fucking past!

-Brain

NutellaonToast said...

Mother fuck, INKY likes music, too? WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE?!

Eerily Lackadaisical said...

Nutella -

Does the name Lee Atwater ring any bells for you?

If so, the wellspring of your surprise is obscure ...

Leonard said...

Brian, California is a big place with a lot of diversity. Perhaps you might enlighten us on your local demos. Do you live in a neighborhood with "good schools"? What's your zipcode?

As for your jibe about an illegal whistling at my wife: keep it classy, bright eyes.

Eerily Lackadaisical said...

Note IOZ's very obscure verbal rebus in his lead-off:

"Costaguana" .... "knightstick" ...

"The Knight of the Costaguana" ?

I always knew he wanted to be one of Ava's mariachi boys in the remake ...

Enron said...

"As for your jibe about an illegal whistling at my wife: keep it classy, bright eyes."

Kalifornia Uber Alles

NutellaonToast said...

Man, that Atwater guy is such a punk.

NutellaonToast said...

Quick, Lennie, define "good" without using the word white!

Professor Coldheart said...

"Man," I thought, "no way Leonard can shoehorn his 'racial realism' into THIS thread." The fuck was I thinking.

Eerily Lackadaisical said...

nut@3:44 -

Just shows to go ya ...

...only the good die young ...

Right, Inky?

Anonymous said...

All the cool people know what a NAM is...

http://www.halfsigma.com/2009/05/nam-nonasian-minority.html

NutellaonToast said...

Oh, good, for a second I thought it was my ignorance that led me to no know what a NAM was. Now I see it is my lack of ignorance that did it.

Anyone wanna head over there and explain the much greater correlation between success and whether or not your emigration is forced? Bueller?

Anonymous said...

You mean whether their great great grandfather's emigration was forced? Lamarckism strikes again!

NutellaonToast said...

Yes, actually. That is what I mean. See, cause it works. As opposed to the nonsense about skin color, which doesn't. Or haven't you noticed how recent black immigrants fair?

Anonymous said...

I bet there is a strong (inverse) correlation between success and the frequency of getting hair done at urban barbershops too.

The government needs to ban Soul Glo!

Anonymous said...

"haven't you noticed how recent black immigrants fair?"

Those who keep track of crime statistics have certainly noticed it in Minnesota. Perhaps the progressives should stop trying to import the vibrant culture of Sudan...

Professor Coldheart said...

Those who keep track of crime statistics have certainly noticed it in Minnesota.

I'll bet I could find ten black and Hispanic guys who know how Bayesian probability works before you can find ten white Minnesotans who do. I'll even let you count yourself once you learn it.

aml said...

welcome to TWIMBY: third world in my backyard.

lucid said...

I never thought it possible to quantify racism, but given that Lenny seems to become more racist every day there must be some measure.

NutellaonToast said...

Every Nigerian I've ever met is trying to scam me out of all my money, too

Anonymous said...

Mayhaps it's 'cos I haven't been paying strict attention, but is Leonard Inkberrow, or has it always been thus, if thus is the word I'm looking for.

demize! said...

Metric color units?

Anonymous said...

Re Leonard Inkberrow:

A Log Cabin Republican is a Log Cabin Republican is a Log Cabin Republican

IOW, a rose by another name ...

Which reminds me of the old joke about the radio guy who works his career up from the sticks till he has a prime-time NYC man-in-the-street interview program and then he gets booted off the air because he goes up to a guy without realizing the guy is drunk and asks his name and the guy says "Howard" and the radio guy says "Howard what?" and the guy says "Howard ya like to go fuck yourself?"

[wait - that's not the punchline ...]

So the guy goes back to the sticks and starts to rebuild his career and he promises himself that if he ever gets back to the Big Apple, he'll be more careful next time.

And sure enough, he makes it back to the Big Apple with the same kind of program and his first night on the air he's looking for his very first guest and he spots a very well-dressed proper-looking guy who he figures will give him no trouble and so he goes up to the guy and asks his name and the guy says "Leonard".

So the radio guy thinks for a second and he can't see any vulgar pun that can be made out of Leonard so he asks the guy "Leonard what?"

And the guy replies "How would you like to go fuck yourself?"

Eerily Lackadaisical said...

Believe it or not, my Dad told me that one. Man-in-the-street was big back then cause of Steve Allen's original Tonight show ...

Anonymous said...

Bayesian probability - it's cute when cultural anthropologists regurgitate technical statistics terms and think their mere utterance supports their dogma. People are not colored balls you can draw from a bag.

NutellaonToast said...

Yea, the colored ones are too lazy to leave the bag.

antonello said...

Leonard said: Perhaps you might enlighten us on your local demos. Do you live in a neighborhood with "good schools"? What's your zipcode?

Is Leonard the Henry Higgins of race-baiting?

Jack Crow said...

Don't think Inkberrow is a moldbugger. Leonard is.

Anonymous said...

Merkin Whitey seems to not understand that he rode the Jewish coattails to world dominance. It's cool, neither did the euro-whiteys.

Capt'n Obvious

NutellaonToast said...

Oh wait, wait, can we go back to the dig on statistics? Cause now I wanna make a crack along the lines of "only colored ones in there cause white people have transcended random chance."

Anonymous said...

I had to google "Greeneland". Apologies to all.

Go ILWU!

rob payne said...

Leonard certainly knows how to make himself the center of attention here. Still, it makes for lively conversation. Maybe it's time to learn a new trick, Leonard.

jcapan said...

"A fat cop on the edge of cardiac arrest swinging a knightstick fruitlessly at a dirty kid"

Or, rhapsody in blue, shooting down some lions and tigers and bears.

Dunc said...

I'm just wondering if Lenny here actually understands the origin of the term "banana republic"... And I'm guessing "not".

plashch said...

Love the Costaguana reference--but who plays the parrot?

Leonard said...

Rob, it's not me that cried "racism", nor did I introduce the subject of race in this thread. I did introduce the subject of immigration. Immigrants, as you may know, have many attributes. This makes my boy-crying-wolf antagonists even funnier -- or sadder. You know a closeted "racist" when you mention a topic that is related to, but different than, race (i.e. IQ, immigration, culture, crime, etc.) and they think you said race. In the progressive worldview, race is on a hair-trigger. Any criticism of non-white people is wrong is evil is racism is the Holocaust about to recur. We've gone around that merry-go-round here many a time.

As I have said before when you guys preemptively start ad-homming me about race: if you don't want me to discuss race here, then don't start it.

I guess Brian M. has slunk off after my retort about his zipcode. (Perhaps he discovered a beam in his own eye -- though I hardly think he could have been ignorant of his own neighborhood's qualities.) Any others of y'all rabid anti-racists want to play?

Dunc, or should I say Dunky, how would it matter to you whether I know where that term came from? If you have a point to make, why not make it? Perhaps you could argue that it's America's fault that X happened historically, therefore, America deserves X to be visited upon herself.

rob payne said...

Leonard

I don’t think it’s so much the topic of race as it is some of your views. When you say things like one group has a higher IQ then others that’s bound to raise some eyebrows. First thing, IQ tests were designed for children not adults and the whole question of the validity of IQ tests is debatable. There are many factors that come into play as to why one group does better economically than another and I’m not convinced that because one is “successful” that makes you somehow smarter. Or when you say so and so slunk off, that’s not debating it’s just insulting and the level of conversation is brought down to the level of a food fight.
Of course, I have been guilty of the same kinds of things so I'm no better but still...

Anonymous said...

"Rob, it's not me that cried "racism", nor did I introduce the subject of race in this thread. I did introduce the subject of immigration."

BUILD THE FENCE NOW! FIFTY FOUR FORTY OR FIGHT!!!

Dunc said...

Perhaps you could argue that it's America's fault that X happened historically, therefore, America deserves X to be visited upon herself.

Oh, OK, I'll bite... America is both the original banana republic, and the font of all subsequent banana republics. Complaining that American has become a banana republic is like complaining that KFC has started serving fried chicken.

Anonymous said...

In political science, the pejorative term Banana Republic denotes a politically unstable country dependent upon limited primary productions (e.g. bananas), which is ruled by a plutocracy, a small, self-elected, wealthy group who exploit the country by means of a politico-economic oligarchy. The term banana republic originally denoted the fictional “Republic of Anchuria”, a “servile dictatorship” that abetted (or supported for kickbacks) the exploitation of large-scale plantation agriculture, especially banana cultivation.

Anonymous said...

...and are in the process of replicating their society.

You mean we get to take naps in the afternoon? Doesn't sound so bad to me. What's the problem?

Tula said...

No, IOZ. It's not a real country until we have a forced relocation signed-off on by a President of the United States. What is that called again?

Oh right. The Trail of Tears. How quaint. That president's likeness is on our $20 bill. Awesome.