Who Is IOZ?: Been Travellin'

Friday, November 04, 2011

Been Travellin'

Been travelling. In my unforgivable bourgeois naivete, I did not realize that the TSA's incredible regulations on liquids extended to wine, ye gods. I thought it was just for soap and open water bottles and shit! The fascists just stole a pinot auxerrois from Luxembourg and a real Baux de Provence! I shall be several days in mourning.

41 comments:

Todd S. said...: Bringing foreign spirits into the country would be an attempt to subvert American culture, and under section 802 of the Patriot Act would be considered low-level terrorism. If you had labeled the bottles as "Freedom Juice" or perhaps "Victory Vino" you'd be OK. Though the latter might still be too foreign-y for some stickler TSA personnel.; 10:48 AM
Anonymous said...: Oy. I am deeply sorry.

Your poet friend.; 10:54 AM
Drake Motel said...: I lost a bottle of wonderful sake brought without trouble by a friend from Japan to New York, but confiscated in LaGuardia en route to O'Hare. The TSA personnel were kind and apologetic, joking merrily about the matter, but isn't that the whole point? "Just doing my job! Wish it were one way and not t'other."; 11:42 AM
lucid said...: Same thing happened to me when I brought a bottle of guaro from Costa Rica... You gotta do the duty free or check it.; 11:43 AM
Anonymous said...: Those TSA contractors are drinking your wine and laughing and laughing.; 11:43 AM
Happy Jack said...: Drinking your own urine is the only way to maintain purity of essence.

Thank a TSA agent for your unpatriotic oversight, commie symp.; 12:10 PM
Not Enough Rope Not Enough Trees said...: Check eBay - I'm sure you'll be able to repurchase them.; 12:25 PM
Anonymous said...: guaro from Costa Rica jajajajajaa; 12:43 PM
Baron de Rothchild said...: Luxembourg!?!?
Sacre bleu!; 1:19 PM
NutellaonToast said...: My lord, but you ARE a pretentious anarchist.; 1:27 PM
Jack Crow said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 1:41 PM
demize! said...: ALL UP IN YR GRAPEZ!!11! TSA666ROTFLIRL!; 1:41 PM
Jack Crow said...: Mustn't have wine or pleasure among anarchists, Nutellaon? What's the point of avoiding, escaping or dismantling power systems if not desire freed from grinding service, and desire satisfied?; 1:42 PM
Anonymous said...: in my mind's eye i see a version of the scene from sideways where ioz is hurriedly uncorking the bottles and downing them with gusto as to avoid their wastage.; 2:01 PM
J-Ho said...: They took my akkevit... Which, when you think about it, really wasn't that much of a loss.; 2:19 PM
J-Ho said...: They took my akkevit... Which, when you think about it, really wasn't that much of a loss.; 2:19 PM
Anonymous said...: Hey careful man, there's a beverage here!; 3:01 PM
Eerily Lackadaisical said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 3:16 PM
Eerily Lackadaisical said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 3:18 PM
Eerily Lackadaisical said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 3:19 PM
Eerily Lackadaisical said...: Nutella -

My Mom was friendly with a Czech sociologist who was very active in the (Prague) Spring of 1967, and who was totally reamed, along with her husband, when the tanks eventually rolled in. (She and her husband - a prominent theatre director - lost their jobs and their childrens' futures.)

When she visited my folks' place in 1965 or so, and saw their swimming-pool (relatively small by 1% standards), she said ... "but this is what we want for EVERYBODY".

Pari passu, IOZ merely wants fine vintages for EVERYBODY ...

By the way, when she was visiting I was about 16, and at the end of a dinner during which she freely expressed her dissatisfaction/displeasure with the current regime circa 1965, I told her there was a tape recorder taped to the underside of the table ... she visibly blanched, then recovered ...; 3:21 PM
Sorry said...: Last time I planed I brought powerful firearms (my uncle's Smith & Wesson 500 & some other gun I forget, quickly & cheerfully checked beforehand) & dope (accidentally dropped in a tobacco pouch the previous evening) aboard, no hassle. Then dudes shit a brick over an unopened Kombucha. Safety first!; 3:39 PM
Bottle removed said...: Your wine has been consumed by an authorized TSA agent. Carry on (clearly no pun intended).; 4:06 PM
Paul Alexander said...: Fuckers took my colostomy bag. Watched dude chug that shit right in front of me.; 5:21 PM
Weeble said...: They don't confiscate baby formula. Screaming babies are way worse than terrorists.; 6:07 PM
demize! said...: They ARE terrorists! Their incessant wailing has a political aim. Usually involves coercing someone to put a tit in their mouth.; 6:39 PM
High Arka said...: Your whine wine pains. Take your private jet, next time, Mr. 1%.

On a separate note, has anyone yet floated the theory that IOZ is, in fact, Paris Hilton? She's clearly clever enough to blog more coherently than she giggles on ET. If there's a betting pool going, this one puts a quarter on the Paris theory.; 8:05 PM
Anonymous said...: Mustn't have wine or pleasure among anarchists, Nutellaon? What's the point of avoiding, escaping or dismantling power systems if not desire freed from grinding service, and desire satisfied?

Jack, if you really as poor and desperate as you say, you have some kind of Stockholm Syndrome thing going with the privileged poseurs of the anarcho blogs.

Put another way, what's the point of dominating power systems, if not desire freed from grinding service and desire satisfied.

Those grapes don't pick themselves, now do they?

The biggest problem with anarchism is anarchists.; 12:29 AM
Anonymous said...: Well, Mr. IOZ, I see you're hanging out with a Budweiser crowd here. My commiserations.; 4:55 AM
Anonymous said...: Let down by Patron Reposado and Cabo Wabo Blanco I shall direct my attention to Don Julio (Reposado?). Maybe I'll give the cheaper CW another chance as Reposado?

Ach, the glory of being a 97 percentiler - mdphd, bitchez!

Capt'n Obvious; 6:38 AM
Anonymous said...: @1229 nonni

Just wait until Comrade Stalin and comrade Beria finish creating the new socialist man, comrade. No such problems then.

Capt'n Obvious; 6:48 AM
Enron said...: Yeah the only way I smuggled in Romeo y Julietas was by removing the labels. Suckers.; 12:53 PM
John said...: The biggest problem with anarchism is anarchists.

Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland!; 1:23 PM
Jack Crow said...: Nonny,

Who said anything about buying the wine? Grow an imagination, already.

And yes, I'm poor. This means I can't understand armed desire?; 1:51 PM
Sorry said...: No Auxerrois, no masters!; 4:10 PM
Rula Lenska said...: Stay thirsty, my friends; 6:22 PM
Soj said...: LOL welcome to America!; 1:20 AM
Anonymous said...: white port and lemon juice; 6:55 AM
Weeble said...: A little late to this one, but over the weekend I set off a door sensor at CVS after buying diapers. When I refused to open my bag the guard physically blocked my path. I snapped. 10 minutes later the cops were there. 20 minutes later I left the CVS, forgetting the diapers, which one of the cops through down the street after me. I've got a hilarious 10 minutes of it on video, plus some bruises on my arms.

Me: I've been here for 10 minutes, it's after 1.
Guard: [Smirking] Oh really? Um...it's 2:15.
Me: Daylight Savingss Time, Asshole. Check your FUCKING WATCH.; 10:53 AM
Weeble said...: Sorry, "threw." No biscuit.; 10:54 AM
Anonymous said...: multiday dead thread, but the story's too good. I was flying a 5am out of pisa & they got me with a 300ml bottle of hazelnuss liqueur i had bought for my mum. I wasn't about to let the bastards get it, so I chugged it in front of the ticket lady. I couldn't eat the nutella though.; 1:33 AM

Friday, November 04, 2011

Been Travellin'

41 comments:

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