It’s all pretty depressing given the enormous blood and treasure the U.S. invested in liberating Iraq from Saddam Hussein’s regime.
-Fox Secondarycoverage
For all its vast power and influence, America's national character is that of the great-aunt who's never forgotten that you failed to send a thank-you card for the pair of argyle socks she bought you on Christmas, 1985. I mean, shit, the French are still considered insufficiently grateful for WWII despite the several decades of unalloyed cultural adulation, but at least in that instance we did manage to play a minor supporting role in the Russian defeat of the Nazis. Well now apparently the great moral angoisse à propos Iraq is not whether or not an immense and powerful nation ought to instigate an unprovoked invasion and occupation of another country, killing many thousands through direct military action and a million or more as an immediate consequence of those actions, but whether or not the people we conquered will, upon our partial withdrawal, will express sufficient gratitude for having been billeted with a gang of well-armed fatamericans lo this past decade. But we got rid of Saddam! It's like date-raping your girlfriend and then being upset that she didn't thank you for not doing anal.
52 comments:
Or how about this: It's like date-raping the person you previously rape-raped and then tried to starve to death for 12 years. Closer?
Lulz. It's like breaking into a guy's house, murdering him, having sex with his dead body, revivifying him, stitching him together with other people to make a human centipede, starving it to death, having sex with it, and then pretending to hit the restroom so that he gets stuck with the bill for the whole table.
What's the point of making a human centipede only to starve it to death?
It's the same point as the Iraq war.
It's like getting elected on a platform of peace and hope and change and shit like that and then sneakily and not-so-sneakily waging even more wars and killing even more people including your own citizens and then taking away their rights and shitting all over their constitution and then speechifying to everyone about human rights and all the great stuff we have in common that makes the white girls swoon for you and wonder sincerely why some people can't see your innate and obvious brilliance and goodness and want to elect you again.
Mandingo for the win @ 11:23!
@scrump
high efficiency underwear model?
Americans just want to be loved. They are so cute and all. I know this to be true because I saw it on television.
Are Fata Mericans like Fata Morganas?
Well, we haven't seen the most maudlin scolding yet. That comes after President Jeb fixes "Obama's Failed Adventure in Iran" and the next Broder insists on some Persian gratitude...
The better to treasure you with.
Yes, but many lives were lost in the great stampede that ensued when Macy's opened its doors at 5 a.m. on Black Friday, 1985. And your dear aunt herself was nearly trampled to death in front of the sock table.
http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/polo-ralph-lauren-argyle-socks-3-pack/3080208
Must be the over a million they liberated from the mortal coil and complete decimation of an entire society. Friggen ingrates..
@ Anon 11:23
Who's constitution? It ain't mine, thats ferdamnsure.
That glorified screed by rich, white, slave-holding assholes does not belong to 'the people' (whoever the hell that is).
Its like you and a bunch of friends go busting in on a neighbor's house, kill the father, pawn all the valuables and rape the wife and daughters. Then you decide to write down a justification as to why you can do it to the rest of the neighborhood.
poor wolf, firs herman cain calls him blitz, now things aren't going the way he wishes in the middle east.
"I was in Kuwait on the eve of the U.S.-led invasion in March 2003. At the time, I assumed the military campaign would be swift and decisive - just like the first Gulf War in 1991, which I also covered.
It's like butter
Hey, Polo is back. I wonder if Tiff will show up too.
lucid@3:38 PM
Maybe we can lure the coach back as well.
It's like rain on your wedding day.
Who would have thought, it figgers.
I'm thrilled that "blood and treasure" has become the unironic way to refer to the costs of empire.
Someone hazard a funny guess as to what treasure is.
What's another word for pirate treasure?
BOOTAH!
It's like fucking a stranger in the ass, and not having the common courtesy to give him a reach-around.
Eight year olds, dude
Americans act like they imagine God to be.
It's like date-raping your girlfriend and then being upset that she didn't thank you for not doing anal.
More like being upset that your ass-rape victim didn't thank you for rubing his tits during the act...
... what with Amerika's obsession/ reaction formation vis a vis samesex ass-rape and soforth.
Capt'n Obvious
I withdraw the above.
Maybe ... more like the assraped being ungrateful for the reacharound his rapist gave him?
Capt'n Obvious
Rape: the average dude's go-to analogy. I wonder what this says about dudes. I'm sure Leonard will fill us in. (I'm thinkin' it has to do with cavemen from long, long ago, but he may trot out some other shitty just-so story, so lessee.)
@142
No, no, assrape is perfectly good description of what the US Empire administered to the Iraqis. The intimate mix of physical and mental abuse implied by rape fit. And this being the Amerika of "Oh Noes! Buttseks!", samesex assrape it has to be.
.
.
The outrage over the lack of gratefulness for the administered reacharound just makes the similarity more glaring.
.
Capt'n Obvious
'Cept the bulk of rape analogies employed here -- including that of our ghey n jolly host -- used the boring old hetero kind. Hey ho.
"Rape, murder, arson, and rape."
"You said 'rape' twice."
"I like rape."
@526
Our gracious host (OGH) used to be more freespirited about it. Unfortunately this organization that done his homies real wrong got into little juvenile buttsex predicament. Long story. Unfortunately, OGH got lured into the " OMG Buttseks with Chilluns! " orgy of righteous indignation. So there.
But for Amerika's worldly shenanigans only samesex assrape (with reacharound! Don't forget the reacharound!) really fits.
Capt'n Obvious
I think your revision of recent history is rather charming, Capt'n. Since that particular post was less about the gheys and more about rape culture in homosocial settings, IOZ was not appropriately chastised despite your most fervent efforts. But that you think fucking children is more acceptable when they've got the penises and the ballsacks is noted. K?
@1101
You're either with us or with the terrorists.
Capt'n Obvious
Anonymous, shirley you aver incorrectly, or whatever. Cap's utmost desire is to appear calmer 'an and superior to the scandalized prudes who are ruining this country's ability to have a decent child sex scandal without injecting their dirty morals into it. That he associates cosmopolitanism and permissiveness with a kindly, understanding hand towards rapists is an unfortunate coincidence, honestly, no, really, trust me on this one, I'm a doctor, &c. It is a far, far better thing to sympathize with child molesters than be mistaken for expressing homophobia, because kiddy diddling & digging tribbing*: virtually indistinguishable acts of perversity. 3,000 : 1, the cap's a hetero and he masks his unease with all things homo by deliberately pretending that this Penn State shit has something to do with gays. (A'course if Sandusky was your typical girleen fucker there would be no problem, here, in distinguishing Normal, Healthy Hetero Male Sexuality from rape, and, besides, bitchez be lying; the proof of the (Saudi Arabian feminist) conspiracy is that there are so many of them, and so forth.)
Sorry guys. When I noted that Polo had posted again, I wasn't expecting the followup to be nony rapiness.
I mean, hey, it's so nice when a well established brand stops by to hawk their lovely argyle socks.
It makes me feel all authentic when I reach for the cock or tit next to me and I know that my socks speak for me.
"Present day colonialism is just like samesex anal rape, except that colonialism is bad and samesex anal rape is a myth generated by hysterics and promoted by homophobes. Or something."
Frankly, those brats should be grateful their coach taught them a skill they could use in the real world, am I right?
Sanduski don't enter into it. This is no motherfucking samesex Lolita. This is Deliverance. This is Abner Louima times 25 million. Sgt Hartman was not talking homoerotica gone ferral.
Capt'n Obvious
IOZ, can you just start a thread where all the straight dudes who want to talk about their pullin' cock and reach-around fantasies can do so? They sound distracted.
@Saurs
What's the matter, boy?
I bet you can squeal.
I bet you can squeal like a pig.
Let's squeal. Squeal now.
Squeal!
Capt'n Obvious
I've often wondered if life would be different on the interwebs if I Spit on Your Grave was more quotable. Often wondered.
Reviewing IMDb on the subject, I notice that there are a coupl'a decent ones, but nothing you could craft a whole Kids in the Hall skit around.
It's like rain on your wedding day. It's like the good advice that you just didn't take.
Such a shame.
"But we got rid of Saddam! It's like date-raping your girlfriend and then being upset that she didn't thank you for not doing anal."
You went one too far with your metaphor. Its like dateraping a girlfreind and being angry that she wasnt sufficiently grateful for the good time you showed her. Thats a good metaphor.The extra detail about anal or whatever is kind of distracting.
@527
Second that.
...Although it is Amerika we're speaking about.
Capt'n Obvious
Hello there!
I've been told about this story during my younger days many times. In fact, its been a very effective way to put me to sleep.
I'm thrilled that "blood and treasure" has become the unironic way to refer to the costs of empire.
"Present day colonialism is just like samesex anal rape, except that colonialism is bad and samesex anal rape is a myth generated by hysterics and promoted by homophobes. Or something." Frankly, those brats should be grateful their coach taught them a skill they could use in the real world, am I right?
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