Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Angels and Demons

That plot “shows that some Iranian officials — probably including Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei — have changed their calculus and are now more willing to conduct an attack in the United States in response to real or perceived U.S. actions that threaten the regime,” Clapper said in the testimony, which was submitted to the Senate Intelligence Committee in advance of a threat assessment hearing Tuesday. “We are also concerned about Iranian plotting against U.S. or allied interests overseas.”

-WaPo
Leaving aside the fact that "that plot" was a wild American invention that had an Iranian-American used car dealer hiring a gang of Mexican drug dealers to assassinate the Saudi Ambassador, a plot that makes Dan Brown blowing up the Vatican with antimatter seem like the pinnacle of narrative realism and political verisimilitude, what I like about the latest Iranian hijinks is that everyone is so forthright about the fact that any increase in Iranian bellicosity--ahem, "real or percieved"--is the direct result of American sword-rattling. There's not even a stutter in the direction of circumlocution. It's all straight up: "Senator, we are concerned that the Iranians may respond if we go to war with them." It may necessitate a war!

51 comments:

Professor Coldheart said...

He covers himself very well with "real or perceived U.S. actions." Real or perceived. What doesn't fit under this rubric? There is special providence in the fall of a sparrow, to say nothing of a Sentinel drone.

NutellaonToast said...

Black people are highly thoughtful and cultured and I appreciate all that they've contributed to contemporary American society.

Anonymous said...

did you guys see last week on jeopardy when the final question was about dan brown's book? the dude that was winning wrote angels and demon instead of angels and demons and lost.

Cüneyt said...

Just so you know, punditry begins early. I remember this shit a few years back in school, discussions of Iranian preparations for retaliation. I just don't know how people don't ask if this is worse than MAD.

Mr.Fundamental said...

America wants to start another war. go figure

President Gas said...

Yeah. Huh? Huh? Huh? Faster than you, you fuckin' son of a . . .

I saw you comin', you fuck, shit-heel. I'm standin' here.

You make the move.
You make the move.
It's your move.

[He draws his gun from his concealed forearm holster]

Don't try it, you fucker. You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me?

[He turns around to look behind him]

Well, who the hell else are you talkin' to? You talkin' to me? Well, I'm the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you're talkin' to? Oh yeah? Huh? OK.

[He whips out his gun again]

Huh?

BDR said...

Uncle Claps for war from his armchair.

davidly said...

Verisimilitarism!

Gabe Ruth said...

"As a result, Clapper said in the testimony, the United States is entering a “critical transitional phase for the terrorist threat,” in which smaller-bore strikes from regional nodes are more likely than elaborate, mass-casualty plots."

Seriously, is he talking about tactics for the terrorists or the patriots?

"'there is a better-than-even chance that decentralization will lead to fragmentation,” Clapper said. The terrorist group “will seek to execute smaller, simpler plots to demonstrate relevance to the global jihad.'"

Oh. Just checking.

Enron said...

'The terrorist group “will seek to execute smaller, simpler plots to demonstrate relevance to the global jihad."'

He's talking about the United States, right?

sevenleagueboots said...

In junior H.S. James R. Clapper, Jr. was known for
wandering around town smelling girl bicycle seats.
In advance of the threat assessment hearing He said:
" I can smell shit 100 miles away... sometimes closer."

Anonymous said...

"Real or perceived U.S. actions" means they're worried about retaliation if Netanyahu lives up to his name.

Inkberrow said...

Yes, it's a feedback loop, this business of making threats and responding to threats over an extended period of time.

Only thing left is who started it, when, and how; what the principals intend to do about it, and how they'll justify their actions....

Eerily Lackadaisical said...

"There is special providence in the fall of a sparrow, to say nothing of a Sentinel drone."

Nice, Coldheart.

Eerily Lackadaisical said...

Isn't there a HAZMAT emoticon?

And shouldn't Inky be forced to include one at the top of any post he makes when the topic is even remotely related to Israel?

You know - kind of like a lavender triangle ...

Sorry said...

Sometimes you have to destroy the village in order to destroy it.

Eerily Lackadaisical said...

"Sometimes you have to destroy the village in order to destroy it."

The Third Reich's theory of anti-partisan reprisals, to a tee.

Oh - wait a second - I guess Amaeriris and Isrericans can't really feel superior in that respect any longer ...

rob payne said...

I’m dissapointed we don’t get better lies. They have no respect at all!

Eerily Lackadaisical said...

You've forgotten your Goebbels, Rob - it's not important that they're good ... they've just got to be BIG ...

... like the WMD that Colin Powell touted to the UN ...

Goebbel's wudda been proud of that one.

But of course, Colin got his ticket punched as the Army's goto boy for the MyLai cover-up, so it kinda came natural to him ...

(not to mention the fact that, as Leonard will attest, lying comes more easily to the "low IQ" crowd, no matter how "high-yaller" they may look ...)

High Arka said...

You're going to eat it, anyway. Might as well enjoy it.

rob payne said...

Eerily,

You’re right, the bigger the better not to mention the endless repetition. Funny thing about Powell is that despite his history the media will still repeat what he says since for the media there was no yesterday only the here and the now. They don’t even read their own articles. Not that it matters.

Anonymous said...

"Seriously, is he talking about tactics for the terrorists or the patriots?"

It actually a glimpse of Eli Manning's first ten plays.

Montag said...

Gentlemen. You can't fight in here. This is the War Room!

Anonymous said...

Who is IOZ? IOZ is a , a "consultant" of some variety and an effective message-er with a certain demographic we wish to reach..
IOZ is a fine writer with a good sense of humor and an all around urbane withit dude. He is undoubtedly a super-whitey from an Upper,upper mid-class background, and although he is Jewish, (meh. Jewish not Jewish whats the difference?,) his white identity is very solid and informs all of his opinions.

He is gay?
Excellent.

Overall an enjoyable sort of raconteur.... if your hip and withit too.... _Hes a Centerish, rightish "Libertarian" of a politcally acceptable(to us of course) flavor, who is actually pushing many of the same essential talking points as Broder Freidman are with their doughy, spud-like demo.He actually castigates them regularly for their a degrees of separation between himself and their readers and that goes over well with the cork snifers hes working. In truth, hes actually selling much of the same "consensus recived opinion" to his would-be hipster audience and I for one, think he should be retained by the corporation, on a contract basis for 1 more year, at which time we will evaluate his continued effectiveness in this capacity.

almostinfamous said...

Coldheart FTMFW as the kids say.

NutellaonToast said...

"IOZ is a fine writer with a good sense of humor" when googled, gives me a first hit of the Wikipedia page for irony. Ha.

High Arka said...

Actually, IOZ, do you write anywhere but on this blog? My publisher is looking for something new in politics for early 2013.

JTG said...

But IOZ, those eeevil fascist mullahs hang gays and oppress women, religious minorities and political dissidents! We have to go war to stop them!!

Because you know, dropping bombs on Iranian gays, women, Baha'i adherents, and dissidents would totally help 'em out.

JTG said...

I wonder if there would be as much outrage over the really unsavory parts of the Iran's regime (the aforementioned executions of homosexuals, etc.) if Ahmadinejad hadn't introduced food and petrol subsidies for poorer Iranians?

JTG said...

"go *to* war", bleh, sorry.

Anonymous said...

Anyone who uses the phrase "his white identity...informs all his opinions" is white, and came from a socio-economic background that allowed his parents to send him to an expensive school infused with the above miasmatic nonsense.

Like, truth is subjective for each AKC-registered ethnic group!

Eerily Lackadaisical said...

to nony@12:09 -

perhaps the best attempted take-down of M'sieur yet seen in this Midrash on the PentaTuchus of WhoIsIoz ... Ryerson is green with envy ...

NutellaonToast said...

7:32, while I think charges such as yours are as silly and pointless as charges such as hypocrisy, I cannot help but giggle at someone criticizing a critic of this site for using obtuse or meaningless language in their critiques.

Anonymous said...

Nut,

1. If you would like to expand your vocabulary, I recommend Words with Friends.

2. Your White privilege is showing.

NutellaonToast said...

Glad to see that missing intent is a global phenomenon with you, Nony.

Anonymous said...

dude, the internet is all white privilege, lol

Eerily Lackadaisical said...

to nony@12:24

yabbut George Washington Carver invented the Internut, so the joke's on you ...

Anonymous said...

his white privilege is right there in his fucking name "george washington" lol

Anonymous said...

oh, and expanding vocabs and words and shit, words with friends taught me that qat is a word, but fuck if i know what it means

Sorry said...

My publisher is looking for a conspiracy thriller/office comedy/bildungsroman, or whatever it is, for early 2013. Although Jeff Wells did just cynically "curate" old blog posts into a book, which I'm also down with.

demize! said...

SECDEF.CENTCOM. ATTENTION ALL FORCES AND INSTALLATIONS STANDBY FOR MACGUFFIN.

demize! said...

@1:05 Qat is a mildly narcotic plant that is used in Yemen like fucking crazy, they have times if the day just for chewing it, Ethiopia, Somalia, generally in the Afro-Asiatic region.

Eerily Lackadaisical said...

demize -

Qats are what Henry Miller called quiffs when he got confused ...

... sometimes he also called them twiffs, again, when confused ...

Anonymous said...

@demize,
is that the same shit the pirates get all hopped on before they raid boats?

NutellaonToast said...

I thought Qat was closer to caffeine than a "narcotic." No?

demize! said...

I think its a stimulant like nicotine but it does provide an odd narcotic quality. Im not sure what the exact pharmacology is. Im going to look it up.

demize! said...

@ER So you're saying he confused his quifs when he quaffed? @NONY Thats prolly poverty, a stimulant, but the Somali militias were fucked up on it driving around in their "technicals".

Eerily Lackadaisical said...

That's just twat I was saying, demize - you sure are a quiff study !

IOZ said...

I'm workin on it Sorry.

Anonymous said...

I met a man in a London airport once, many years ago, who had the most amazing story of smuggling a duffel bag of forty pounds of qat into New York City. His partner, carrying a similar duffel, was stopped at customs, but the man I met just kept walking. He met up with the East Africans who had contracted the massive purchase, and described the surreality of watching them chew leaf after leaf while watching the motel room porn channel. He was himself unable to say whether it was an upper or downer or both. In any event, he made a bunch of money for the exchange. He wondered to me what ever happened to his partner. We parted to catch our planes.

Anonymous said...

Re: Above

Now what, we be trolled by forsaken DEA douches?

What do you imagine Nonny, now we gonna start sharing intimate stories of breaking UnkleSams' ingestables' regulations, prompted by your stupid fake story?

Capt'n Obvious