The author of IOZ has authorized me to reveal this much: the one cause, and how it pains me to even write that word, that we support with money and time is abortions. Sorry dudes--in the end, only the ladies get to see the inside of our man-sized safe. Planned Parenthood may be dowdy and progressive, but those gals are on the side of the angels, and if I have but one regret in this life, it's that I can never get knocked up in order to proudly avail myself of their cervixes, ahem, services. Plus, I have always hated those fucking country-club Komen frauds. So it is with immense pleasure that I watch them get dragged through the mud by a gang of abortionists.