I believe that gay people should be allowed to get married in the sense that I believe accused terrorists deserve a trial by jury with full legal representation in the sense that I believe black men should be able to drive automobiles within the legal limits without being pulled over all the time. That is to say that I advocate a situational equality within the context of the society we are given even though such equality is in the broader sense fundamentally absurd. That a state can ban a relationship between individuals, or that a President's view on the matter is of national significance, is really awful to contemplate. I know marriage is supposed to be some, like, basic physical property of the human universe, paired protons and neutrons or quark spin or some shit or whatever, but really, uh, like, what if the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania banned slightly awkward social acquaintances in which you do have each other's cell numbers but you don't really feel comfortable calling even though you need to borrow his pick-up and you're pretty sure he'd be cool with it but maybe you'll just text him instead. Then the 3rd Circuit overturns the law on twenty-first amendment grounds. The President of the United States says that although he would probably have sent a private Facebook message, his views on the issue are evolving. Then Joe Biden, literally, explodes.